


Sad Boi Hour

by emotionalcello



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Drinking & Talking, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I would die for rebecca, M/M, Movie: Resident Evil: Vendetta, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, Not Beta Read, OOC, Post-Resident Evil: Vendetta, Romance, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Talking, The Author Regrets Nothing, There's gonna be hella typos and things that might not make sense sorry, but still no smut tho, so what even is this fnafic tbh, soft, spicy scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: Set after Resident Evil Vendetta.Chris blatantly befriends Leon as they go day drinking in a bar and talk about feelings. Then they go home to talk about feelings some more.That’s it, that’s the story. Zero plot and all the talking.
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Chris Redfield
Comments: 20
Kudos: 64





	1. Drink

**Author's Note:**

> I think it’s important to note that I’m new in the fandom, I haven’t seen ALL of Resi games, and didn’t even touch the novels, comics, manga and all that. So, it’s not all canon, and I don’t know Everything about their pasts. And you heard that right, I watch games, can’t play for shit. I got scared playing the cave part of Stardew Fucking Valley, no way I can survive resident evil games. 
> 
> This obsession starts with Resident evil 2 remake and show me hot Leon and it’s a spiral downhill from there.  
> I know I coo over these two boys but from Vendetta, the one I love most is Rebecca she’s so cute and precious and big brained I’m so soft don’t touch me. RE Vendetta might not be the best, but by god the facial design cleared my skin and water my crops, they're all beautiful....
> 
> So, here’s 20k-ish of two men talking,
> 
> Enjoy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two guys drinking and talking their hearts out

His shoulder is dislocated. He managed to shoot with the help of his left hand guiding the right, while the right can only pull the trigger. He hadn’t felt the pain then, but after the adrenaline ran off, the pain settles in, slowly increasing.

As soon as she gains strength, Rebecca put his bones back together. While and after, the arm still hurts like a bitch, but he bites the groan and screams back from being voiced. His face paled, he can feel his blood running cold, but he’d rather jump off this helicopter than show it. He doesn’t know why he’s being this prideful. Across his seat is Chris Redfield, tired faced as he’s looking down the city holding back woe. There’s his reason.

The helicopter they’re on is spreading the vaccine and Leon was struck with the same thought he had lately. When he was a kid, he never thought his life would turn out this way. Fighting giant monsters, being a secret agent, that’s almost every child’s dream. Only that it isn’t as sunshine and rainbows as any child could imagine. All he wanted as a kid was to uphold justice, protect people, make his parents proud.

He’s doing all of that, sure, in more ways than anyone could’ve. What he didn’t expect is the weight dangling by his heart whenever he loses someone. He tried to put on a brave face, move on, because there are more lives ahead that’s in danger, and if he didn’t pull his head out of his ass, their life will be lost as well. And he doesn’t know if he made his parents proud or not, he’d give anything to know. He’s worn to the bones, running on a 1% battery that could’ve run out any minute.

“And once again we find ourselves back where we started,” Rebecca says, somehow sounding hopeful when the words bring Leon to a sobering fact that this is never going to end. The world can never be safe.

Someone with a screw loose with too much money and power will fuck it all up again, sooner or later.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked.

“We got the bad guys. Hope we made the world a little safer.” Hope. Rebecca sounds so sincere. Leon doesn’t know whether to scoff at the naivety or envy her positivity. Then Chris just smiles as if believing her.

“Hey, Chris.”

He looks at him softly, smiling, he never looks at him like that before. “Yeah?”

“How much longer can we keep going on like this?” Leon hopes the tone is as flat as he wants, and not resigned and tired as he felt.

“I don’t know. I never make plans that far ahead.” Chris uses Leon’s words right back to him, word per word, but the way he said it is 180 degrees different. No lack of fight or energy. His eyes sparkle with hope as he smiles.

It takes his breath away. Rebecca’s hope doesn’t really sink into him. Yes, she has her own set of monsters, but she just doesn’t understand. Chris does. He’s been in this nightmare field longer than Leon, yet look at him, hopeful and tirelessly fighting. Leon nods in understanding and hopes his smile doesn’t come out as bitter.

Despite the pain in his whole body, Leon manages to doze away into sleep. Dreaming about his house. It’s a bizarre dream. He’s in his enforced house, gun in hand, at the rooftop. Around his house are zombies and mutated BOWs that he’s faced before. They’re there, climbing up, some waiting. He’s calling for back up, or a pickup, but no one comes for him.

When he landed, Chris shakes his shoulder awake. It’s broad daylight. The light shines insultingly bright, blinding him for a few seconds and sent stars in his eyes and a painful pulse in his head. Chris’s face fades in, slowly, and his worry comes clear before his warm brown eyes.

“Leon, you need to get your arm checked,” he says as soon as Leon regains wake, and Leon shook his head as soon as that.

“Nah, I’m fine. I want to salvage what’s left of my vacation if you don’t mind.”

“I mind.” Chris’s tone heavy and firm, like an order, and Leon doesn’t like that. He’s a grown-ass man, and he doesn’t need to help these annoying rays of sunshine but he did for them, for... Who is he kidding? He’ll jump in to help even if Chris and Rebecca didn’t tell him themselves. Even if he just caught a whiff of it, or from that informant, he’ll jump in because he can stop it.

Leon hangs his head low. There’s a reason why he can’t break the cycle of going to missions, loses his team, his friends, and drink alone, then do it all over again, because he owes it to the people he lost to continue what he’s doing. But this time is one of the rare occasions when he still has them alive.

The train of thought reminded him of Buddy, he cheered up a little, just a little.

“It’s fine, nothing I haven’t dealt before,” Leon ensured as he stands on his own to prove it. He cursed the slight wince on his face as a sharp pain stung not only in his arms but in his whole body.

“You’ve been riding that pain the whole flight. Don’t be a tightass, c’mon.” Chris has that smile again. That soft friendly smile that Leon has never seen before. To be fair, whenever they met, it’s always in the middle of a mission, in a high-tension situation and they’re always on different sides. It must’ve been great to have Chris as a friend. Why can’t Leon has friends like these?

He did. The informant put them on body bags. Fuck, he needs a drink.

“It won’t be long,” Rebecca chirped from the ground as if she knows another denial is coming. She’s holding the shock blanket tight to her figure, covering the revealing but flattering wedding dress. “Please?” She put her hands together and look up with her big eyes.

Leon groaned, how can he say no to Rebecca?

He looks at Chris, who looks at him amusedly, “What? I’m not doing that to convince you. My method is carrying you to-”

“Okay! I give in, take me,” Leon blurts out quickly at the horrifying image of someone carrying him. The two have a self-satisfied smile as they lead him inside the BSAA headquarters.

The protocol for everyone from the red zone is going through a disinfectant area. Where they strip him down to his underwear and spray him with sharp smelling alcohol-based liquid from top to bottom then given a single towel to dry up. Leon is given a plain blue shirt and matching training pants and sandals, just add a gold necklace then he’ll look like a 50-year-old mafia on a holiday in a tropical island. It feels a little coarse to the touch, his bruising body does not like them, and they look ugly too. His old clothes are in a black trash bag, he’ll burn it by the time he gets home, Valentino be damned.

Getting out of his chamber, his first intention is to sneak out, but Chris is already waiting for him outside of his disinfectant chamber. The man wears a clean version of the same uniform without the gears, the protective vest, utility belt, and gloves. The broad figure looks slimmer now without all the heavy gears, yet still impressively bulky.

“Didn’t think I’ll let you sneak out, did you?” Chris tip his jaw up with that self-satisfied grin on his face, walking towards him with soft thuds of his combat boots.

Leon shrugged, withdrawing his plans, “Got my hopes up there for a while. Where’s Rebecca?”

“Straight to her university in Chicago, getting back to work.”

“And I thought _I’m_ the workaholic,” Leon walks to the taller man and feel his ribs giving stabs of pain. The adrenaline had escaped him completely, and all he feels is soreness and sharp pains. Great.

“C’mon, I’ll take you to our doctor.” Chris walks slowly as he leads, and Leon refuses to think that’s because of Leon.

He’s been laying on many x-rays tables before and almost every time feels like Deja Vu. Like he’s been here before because of course he does. Every mission done, he limps to the nearest hospital or the headquarter’s to do this routine. He takes off his clothes before the doctor even says anything. That earned a very flustered doctor and Chris. His legs peppered with blue, and red that will soon be blue too. His back feels stiff and sore from being slammed to the wall, he bet they’ll be blue too.

As Leon goes with the doctor, a nurse tends to the scraped wounds on Chris’s face.

Cracked ribs, so there’s the source of his sharp pain. They’re not shattered, so he doesn’t need to be hospitalized, thank fuck. His arm is also thankfully fine, it was only dislocated. He’d hate to put a cast on his arm today when he intended to use them to knock back shots.

As he puts his clothes back on with the doctor giving him painkillers, he caught Chris’s eyes lingering on his naked torso. He doesn’t blame him, Leon has some pretty gruesome scars. Some don’t heal right and just too eye-catching to ignore. He bet Chris has some of these too, comes with the job.

Leon feels the fatigue seeps through the bone but he doesn’t feel tired, all that’s in his mind is that he doesn’t want to be sober. He’s been in the BSAA headquarters before, knows his way out, and Chris is tailing him as if he doesn’t.

Though, Leon humors him until he reached the entrance.

“Going home already?” Chris beats him to it, stepping into his line of sight.

“Not home. Vacation. You should rest too. You look like shit,” Leon chuckled as if what he said is possible.

Even when weary, Chris’s face looks bright and kind, while Leon already has dark circles under his eyes that add in saturation every day, even close to black at times.

“Day drinking is not a vacation, Leon.” There it is, the motherly tone Claire told him about.

“It is, in my book.” Leon’s stepped back, was about to wave goodbye when Chris stops him.

“There’s a bar downtown, only 30 minutes from here. I’m feeling in a ‘vacation’ mood myself. C’mon, drinking with friends is way better than drinking alone.”

That’s news to Leon. He didn’t know Chris thinks that they’re friends. This is the first civil conversation they have. “Didn’t know that we’re friends,” Leon smirked, teasing.

“You are in my book,” Chris shrugged, and his eyes might deceive him because the man looks shy. “Always wanted to hang out with you, just never had a real chance to,” Chris says it smoothly as if the words have been in his thought. Leon doesn’t know Chris thinks of him like that. A lot of people around him seem to stay clear of him, they’re either intimidated or Leon just never bothered because he’s not really the type to approach someone first. Now, he’s faced with a chance to know the Chris Redfield that Claire had been telling him about. The drums in his heart betray him, he can’t believe he’s excited about casual drinking.

And that’s how he’s easily coaxed into Chris’s jeep, trapped with his newly gained friend for the next thirty minutes with the radio broadcasting news about New York. The newscaster covered almost everything. How the A-virus is transmitted via air through tanks camouflaged as drinking water tanks. The man behind them. The estimate of casualties. Everything but Leon’s involvement. They only say the BSAA neutralizes them. The news never really covered the entire truth, as it should’ve.

Hunnigan didn’t know about his intervention in this mess. She will though, he has to tell him, just not now, it’s still his vacation.

“Do you think Rebecca is okay?” Leon hears himself say, and Chris glances at him, opening his mouth, but Leon beat him to it. “She seems to take it all in stride, but I don’t know her like you do.”

“She will be. She needs to get to work and have that space alone for a while at first.”

Leon nods, not showing the relief he’s truly feeling.

Chris is focused on the road, silent as ever and for once, Leon doesn’t mind the silence, he just hopes it doesn’t last all day.

Now that he gets to stare, and really look at Chris, he’s a bit taken back at how different Chris looks compared to Claire. The younger Redfield doesn’t have an ounce of masculine features. She’s beautiful, with round soft eyes, full lips, small button nose, small face with rounded edges, dark auburn hair, and blue eyes. Chris is all sharp angles leaving no room for soft features. Sharp jaws, sharp eyes, sharp eyebrows, sharp hairline, even sharper nose, with darker brown hair and brown eyes that look hazel when the lights hit them. Thin lips with a pretty cupid's bow with a boat bottom lip, and short spiky hair that looks rough to the touch.

“What are you staring at me for?” The man asked with a shit-eating grin, only glancing his way before returning his eyes to the road. That glance was enough for Leon to look away as he was caught red-handed.

“You didn’t look like Claire,” Leon admits.

Chris chuckles, and it got added to things Chris does that’s never done in front of Leon before. He has a feeling that the list will only grow longer today.

“I got told that a lot. Even when we were still kids. The only thing Claire got from my dad is his hobby of tinkering bikes, and the only thing my mom gave to me is some mad cooking skills.”

Leon can feel his eyebrows climb, “Another thing I’m jealous of you.”

That seems to be the wrong thing to say, since Chris knits his eyebrows together, “Didn’t know you’re a jealous type.”

“Can’t help but compare. It’s a case of the neighbor’s grass is always greener, and your grass is very green from here.”

“Like what?”

Where does he even begin? Or better yet, should he? Can’t the bar be any nearer? This conversation is getting too personal for him to handle sober. Oh, what the heck.

“You have a sister for one. I was an only child. I’m also a shit cook even though I’ve been living alone most of my life, didn’t bother...” There’s a lot more, but Leon stops it there, that’s all he can handle for now.

“Cooking’s rewarding, could be good for you.” Oh dear god.

“Missions, you know?”

“So? I have them as well.”

“Fine, I’m just too lazy to cook.” Leon throws his hands up like a petulant child while Chris just wears another self-satisfied grin. He’s been letting him win all day, and Leon for once doesn’t care.

The rolled to the parking lot at 2 PM. The day is as hot as an asscrack in jeans on a summer day and the day is bright like a flashlight glaring straight at your eyes. Thankfully, the bar is dim, and he can pretend it’s somewhat in the evening. It’s a homey feeling country bar with a low hum of indie rock music playing. It has wooden floors and –hopefully- decorative guns, posters, decorative exhaust pipes, and neon lights on the walls. Not many people too. One passed out on the table, an omen of Leon a few hours from now. A young couple at the pool table that looks like teenagers skipping school.

The guy behind the bar is a man in his fifties. Bald head, thick beard, and a mustache, ears gouged with silver tunnel plugs. A spike piercing under his lip, and two in a row on his left eyebrow. The sleeves of his band tee are rolled up to show his colorful Japanese themed sleeves tattoos on his muscular arms. He’s possibly the coolest bartenders Leon had ever seen, and Leon had seen a lot of bartenders.

“Chris!” The man exclaimed, opening his arms as he sees Chris walking in.

“Max!!” Chris answered with the same excitement then lean over the bar into the man’s waiting arms. They hug tight and leaves with a couple of pats on the back.

“I’m not expecting you until at least past 8 PM, didn’t take you as a day drinker,” The man called Max, to his surprise, has a soothing high-pitched voice. His eyes are cerulean blues, which can’t be natural, and it matches his blue eyebrows.

“It’s been that kind of day,” Chris sighed. “By the way, this is my friend Leon.” Chris wraps his meaty arms around his shoulders and he feels his heart jump at the contact and by how he’s called his friend. “Leon. This is Max.”

“Nice to meet ya, Leon.”

“You too.” They shook hands.

“So what can I get ya boys?”

“Manhattan for me please,” Chris takes a seat at the bar and Leon follows suit.

“Bourbon, and make it a double.”

The drinks come fast as Max’s hand worked like lightning. They’re served their drinks and Max hopped to the other side of the bar, giving them privacy.

“Okay, what are we toasting fo- Oop, okay.” Chris stops and sips his cocktail as he sees Leon straight up gulping his to none then scrunch up his face. “Geez slow down, will ya, the bar’s not going anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me how to drink, Redfield,” Leon groaned, waving to Max for a refill. Still bourbon, but he’s getting to shots if he’s not buzzed after this. Though from his high tolerance, he knows this one can’t make a dent on him yet.

“One of the perks of drinking with friends is that you have to hear my opinion,” Chris smirks and Leon wants to swipe it away from that smug face. “You’ve just been given painkillers, can’t be good to be mixed with lots of alcohol. I’m here to keep an eye on you.”

“I haven’t taken the painkillers,” and he’s gonna be snappy if he’s not drunk because the sharp pain is still hugging his torso. Fuck, he can even feel the curve of Arias’s massive fingers lingering around his body. Leon downed this drink too, and wave to Max again, but he’s serving a new customer.

“And why would you do that?” Chris sounds pissed, now sounding like a dad.

“Because painkillers don’t make me drunk, Chris. Alcohol makes the pain better too, two birds in one stone.” Given, it’s been hard to take a deep breath, but he just needs to take short ones until the poison kicks in. A few more shots in and he’ll be good. “And you’re not my dad!”

“Of course I’m not,” Chris retorts defensively.

“Then stopped acting like one.”

“I’m acting like a friend, Leon. You finished a bottle when the sun is still high the other day.” Chris’s plea falls to Leon’s deaf ears.

Max comes over, leaning on the bar, “Wants me to put the bottle here? Not supposed to, but since you’re Chris’s friend...”

“Max!” Chris scolds, and Max raised one of his blue eyebrows.

“What? The guy’s a fast drinker.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Leon buts in, “But I’d like to change it up. Three shots of vodka please.”

“Coming right up, boy.” In a swift movement, three empty shots stood in front of him, and in another swift move, they’re filled.

“Max’s so cool,” Leon says, and Max heard it.

“Everyone likes me!”

“And you deserve it, my man!” Leon punches his chest and points to Max while the bartender returns the gesture. Leon must’ve been drunker than he feels.

Chris still has his Manhattan, barely making a dent on it. Leon raises his glass, smirking, and downs it.

“When did you start drinking this heavily?” Chris’s tone low and warm, purely curious, and that’s the only reason Leon answers without being defensive.

“Fuck if I know.” That’s a lie, Leon knows exactly when his shitshow started. “A few years ago, when I sneak into the Eastern Slav Republic.”

“What happened?”

“Can’t tell you all about it, but basically, just a bunch of people using BOWs to fight their fight. One side in desperation, the other side for power. I was there to put an end to it, only to realize that I didn’t change anything.”

“That can’t be true.” Leon looks up from his empty shot of glass to Chris, who has the side of his face on the palm of his hand, looking at him earnestly. “I know you work for the government and you have missions and all, but you always help people along the way.”

His mind, though hazy, remembered Buddy, or Sasha as the guy himself made Leon calls. The man was about to kill himself before Leon took the gun from him. His words to Sasha then was not planned, it just came to him in panic and anger with what Sasha was about to do. Then, his own words are the one that keeps Leon afloat now. Sasha is still teaching, the war is far from over but everything had calmed down enough for things to go back the way they were. And from the letters, he seems happy with 4 adoptive kids and a girlfriend to boot.

“See? I knew it,” Chris says as if he can hear his internal monologue, “I know that look, I just proved you wrong.”

“Shut up,” Leon hissed with no bite. “Seems like you know an awful lot about me. I didn’t remember talking to you a lot.”

“Claire. I swear you’re all that she raves about whenever we talk. For a moment I could’ve thought that she had a crush on you.”

Leon goes rigid mid-sip his second glass of shot. Oof, how does he threads from here. “Uh... really? That’s um-”

Chris barked out a loud laugh, “I know her preferences, I’m just saying that she sounds like it! Man, should’ve seen your face, it’s so goofy.”

Leon brushed over the insult with relief. That was an awkward situation Leon doesn’t want to be in ever again. “Don’t do that again man, I was really worried that you didn’t know.”

“Of course I know. She told me everything about her, and I pride myself that she trusts me.”

“That’s good, great.” Leon downs the second shot, sighing as he feels the buzz in his head and warmth on the pit of his stomach.

“What about me? Did she tell you anything about me?”

Leon chuckles, thinking back when Claire calls him. “She talked my ear off about you, you boulder punching maniac.” To his surprise, Chris blushed. “You’re also, a mom and a dad rolled into one. She loves you a whole lot. You’re her hero.” Hell, Chris is everyone’s hero, so is Leon’s just because Claire rave that much about her brother.

“Been told that a lot lately, but I’m no hero.” Oh, is that sadness that he sees? Chris looks down at his glass of Manhattan that still doesn’t budge. He’s really here just to watch him drink huh? “The only reason I’m here is... if not me, who else? These mother fuckers turn people into weapons that could’ve been me, my friends, my family. I have no other choice.”

Leon studies him, as much as his hazy brain could. Looking into every micro-expression. The down casted eyes are dark brown with a greenish shift. The Redfields perhaps don’t look alike, but they’re both beautiful, even as they look in woe. Chris’s fingers tap along the rim of his drink. The glass looks comically small in Chris’s big hands, and his head hangs low, face without the smile.

“I knew you meant it,” Leon says.

“Meant what?”

“When I asked how much longer we can keep on going, you said you haven’t planned that far and you meant it. You’re gonna keep on fighting because there are endless things to fight for. Then before you know it, half your life’s gone by.” That was more than Leon had wanted to say, and the way Chris’s eyes narrow as he stays silent tweak a pinch in his heart. He never wanted to offend Chris, not when he’s been so kind to his sorry ass. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, you’re right,” Chris quickly clears. “I never planned that far ahead because I’m always needed, always a case, always fighting.”

“Shouldn’t be like that. Claire’s hero shouldn’t have a lonely ending.” Like him. Leon downs the last shot and waved to Max for another two.

“What do you think your life is supposed to be?” Chris asked as Max walks away. Leon looks at him like he just grows another head. Leon knows what Chris meant. He had told him and Rebecca in a spur of a moment. _Is this what my life is supposed to be?... What’s the point of it all?_

That was embarrassing, and replying his question about it is also embarrassing. “I didn’t mean that. I was frustrated and I was drunk. Just forget about it.”

“I think alcohol made you more honest, and even though you don’t mean it now, you _were_ being honest. And to tell you the truth, seeing you like that, I...” Chris swallowed thickly, that sad casted eyes returns. “...my heart fell to my stomach. Thinking that you’ve been there drinking alone in that state of mind.”

“Are you pitying me?” The words didn’t come out as venomous as Leon would like.

“No, just saying that I’ve been there, and being alone is not the answer. It made it worse.”

“Don’t judge the way I cope,” Leon snaps, face twisting in displeasure, but Chris doesn’t seem too fazed.

“I know we got our own ways of coping. Rebecca goes back to work, Claire upgrade her bike, I hit the gym, but we always emerge back to find our friends. The way you cope, alone, you’re digging yourself into a hole with no way back, unless you reach out.”

Leon finds himself smiling after knowing that Chris hit the gym to cope. No wonder the man is the embodiment of a brick wall, with those thick arms and broad shoulders and strong chest and mighty thick legs. All that a product of Chris lifting his sadness away. Damn.

“Is that why you’re here? So I don’t drink alone?” Leon asked.

“Uh-huh. Don’t think I didn’t recognize you isolating yourself. Claire said you haven’t called for a year. Sherry even called me to check up on you too.”

“Shit....” Leon cursed, suddenly feeling like an ass. “I... I don’t want to see them for a while, I... I can’t.” Leon sips his shot, before downing it. Feel that the familiar burn calms his nerves.

Chris leans in, too close for comfort, but Leon doesn’t move away, “Can you tell me why?”

Leon bites his lips. Fuck, he shouldn’t have drunk this much with someone. He can’t barricade himself from what’s about to come out. He’s going to regret this later, he knows that much, but present Leon says fuck all.

“Lately been assigned in teams, and I always lose them all. The ones I told you about, the one in DC, that was the fourth time in a row that I got out alive alone, and... I can’t... I...” Leon bites his lips back, because that’s enough, so he drinks instead.

That last shot packs a punch because his eyes are seeing stars. He’s the type of drunk that doesn’t realize he’s drunk. He should’ve been swaying right now, but he doesn’t feel like he’s drunk. Fuck, he’s getting used to alcohol. What then?

“But there’s always so much you can take, and that’s why you’re taking a vacation?” Chris completed and Leon nods.

“First ones in many years. When I told Hunnigan, man, I never heard a woman sigh like that platonically. Uh... Hunnigan’s my operator,” Leon cleared unimportantly. “What about you? You told me you’re in a ‘vacation’ mood, but you’re not doing enough ‘vacation’ there.” Leon nods to Chris’s full glass.

“Someone’s gotta drive us home, and you’re outta the equation three shots ago. But I guess, here’s to you.” Chris lifted his glass and sips a bit.

Something melancholic strikes Leon as he sees Chris taking a sip. Chris doesn’t seem that unfamiliar with drinking, but he’s holding back. This isn’t the first time Leon had drank with someone, but then again, it was long ago, when he was younger, when he was looking for someone to go home with. Chris looks sad, lonely, and he doesn’t deserve that. Despite being beaten down, despite talking to Leon who’s been difficult, Chris can still smile, and it’s a mighty cute smile too.

“Chris,” Leon called, subconsciously grabbing Chris’ biceps and quickly distracted by how hard it is, but only for a second. “I think you should get a life.” Okay, that’s not the best way of putting it. “I mean... no... Fuck Chris, it’s just that... The field we’re in is a loop. There’s no end to our fight. Just as Rebecca said, we’re back at the beginning, and there’s gonna be another one, sooner or later, and you’ll get deployed again, and you’ll fight and it’s... not going to end. That’s not life.”

Chris looks epically flabbergasted. Blown wide eyes and parted lips, all that. For a second, Leon feared that he might be probing and crossing a line before he hears Chris lowly chuckle. Maybe it’s because he’s kind of tipsy, but the way Chris’s eyes crinkle and laugh earnestly and the voice of his laugh are just... just so...

“I’ll get a life if you do.”

Leon scoffed so loud that even Chris jerked. “You can’t compare yourself to me! Man, you’ll die of old age first if you want me to get a life!” The self-degradation couldn’t have sounded any more chipper. But the combination of alcohol and the hilarious statement, Leon made it sound like it’s the joke of a century.

“What? You just said we’re in the same field,” Chris asked innocently and it’s so cute that Leon leans in and pats that handsome face once and twice.

“Oh, Chris, Chris, Chris... It’s different okay? Very different... I take it the BSAA doesn’t have a ‘personal relationship and family life policy’?”

Chris blinked rapidly, eyebrows knitting in confusion. “A... a what policy?”

“Ha! That’s what I said!” Leon chuckles bitterly, putting a strain on his ribs. “It’s written when I first recruited. Things I can’t tell. The person needed to be background checked. I can’t say I’m an agent, and I’ll have to have a second identity for that. There’s tons of other rules I’ve forgotten about. The BSAA doesn’t have those rules, right?”

Chris pauses before answering, looking at Leon in disbelieve. “No, nothing like that. Just no work brought home, that’s all.”

Leon smiled, one of the genuine of the day and Chris doesn’t tear his eyes away from him. “That’s good, then it’s just a matter of time to wait for the correct person to walk in your life.”

Leon waves to Max, getting a double whiskey this time, somehow feeling like he wants to slow down a bit after 5 shots. Even after Max finished pouring for him, Chris is still facing him, face in hand, a finger on his lip.

“What about you?” Chris finally says. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna bat away people you like just because it’s a little bit too complicated.”

Leon rolled his eyes, feeling a bit annoyed. “It’s not a little bit. If it’s a civilian outside our field, I’ll have to become someone entirely different just to be with them. And I’m not so cruel to make them go through with the long days apart, the secrets and... and have them call me by a different name.” The last statement made his tummy lurch in discomfort. He gulps the whiskey, taming it down, but it doesn’t.

“I can’t imagine anyone would want to settle down with me, my baggage and my secrecy. Sometimes it’s too much, even by myself.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Chris rolled his eyes playfully, “Haven’t you heard about the pep talk, ‘the right one will come’, ‘the right one will love you anyway’, ‘the right one will understand’, you know all that shit. One of them ought to be true, don’t you think?”

Leon scoffs, thinking Chris is being sarcastic or just joking but bizarrely, he’s not. “You can’t possibly believe any of that.”

Chris just shrugged shyly, and Leon doesn’t know whether to laugh at the naivety or coo at it.

Leon decides to play along. “Can’t imagine anyone that would actually want to be with me enough to endure all the shit I carry. I mean, I’m a good lay, don’t get me wrong, but a relationship? Fucking hell.”

“Have you ever been in a relationship to come to that conclusion?”

“Four.” Leon put the same fingers up proudly, bout to lay it on this man some facts. “First, it was with a partner of mine. The break up was a mess, we were screaming bloody murder. Then he fucking disappeared on me, then we met on opposite sides. Hands down the worst break up ever, but I wasn’t traumatized yet. Second, Hunnigan thankfully she’s gracious enough to be the bigger man and let our break up civil, so I didn’t scar myself to get to the third. Which is Angela, met on a mission, she ask me out first, it was sweet until another screaming murder and we broke up. Still, didn’t stop me at the fourth, another partner of mine, Helena. And things with Helena were casual, then it got serious, then got casual again and then she met someone else, so we broke it off.” And that’s more than he wanted to share, so Leon grimly pressed his lips to Chris whos been listening patiently. “So you see... me and relationships doesn’t really get along.”

“Too bad. You deserve someone that good, someone that sticks around.”

“Well,” Leon shrugged and look away, because he can’t handle Chris looking at him like that while sounding like he meant it. Doesn’t he knows that that’s what Leon had desperately wanted. Just to have that ‘someone’ for him, that’s why he always tried, hoping it’ll work out. “What about you big red, anyone special?”

Chris laughed at big red, and Leon knows why. Claire is little red, and Chris is big red, it’s a joke between the two that Claire told him about.

“You know Jill Valentine?” Chris seems sheepish.

“Ugh it’s like her name is drilled into my brain, isn’t she Claire’s crush like ages ago?”

“Yeah. Once upon a time, we were a thing. Then it dissipates,” Chris admits, sipping his Manhattan.

“Wait, dissipates? The fuck? How?”

“We were partners, then we sleep together. We thought it makes sense that we established a relationship, only to realize that we can’t function that way. Every time we met, it’s always talking about work. Then we just... kind of... forgot that we’re actually in a relationship.”

Leon would’ve laughed if Chris doesn’t look so ashamed. His face red on the cheeks and the tip of his ears, and Leon doubt that it’s because of the alcohol since he’s not actually drinking any.

“Dang, that can happen huh... Are you guys cool now?”

“Of course we are, she’s my best friend first.”

“Cool, so, just Jill?”

“Just Jill. Don’t have time for anyone else after that, no right ones either, so far.”

“One day buddy, one day.” Leon encourages, patting Chris’s back that’s also hard with muscles. Is there any part of this man that’s not hard with raw muscles?

“Thanks, if only you can be as optimistic about my love life to your own.”

“I was! Now, I don’t know.”

“What are you talking about,” Chris groaned incredulously, “I only got to really know you today, and I’m liking you so far, and you’re a looker too.”

Now it’s Leon who can feel himself going red. He knows he’s hot and all, but... damn is he really so starved of affection that a simple compliment takes him this high.

“I don’t think my looks ever help, case in point, my exes,” Leon gave him a few more pat on the back before retreating his arm and shoving the equally hard shoulder with his. “By the way, don’t get your hopes up on me. You’re gonna be pissed off at me on day 5.”

“Does that mean we got to hang out again?”

Leon paused mid raising his glass, and he’s not supposed to. He made it look like it’s a big thing when it’s just a platonic hang out, so what?

“Sure, as long as you’re also drinking. Not just here as my chaperone.”

“Then we’ll have to drink at our place.”

“Mine, I got a bar at home. I got everything, from Sake to wine, I even have baileys to put on my coffee, you name it buddy.”

“Weird flex but okay. I hope you’re not planning to drink everything in your personalized bar in the span of your vacation.”

“No promises,” Leon sings, downing his whiskey and planning for his next choice of poison. He’s hitting his sweet spot right now, the pain in his ribs isn’t so prominent and he can take a deeper breath, but he wants to keep drinking. Maybe a beer.

Leon waves to Max for a pint of beer. Then he sees the tall clear glass, sees his reflection in it, and he doesn’t like what he sees. He paused for a few awkward seconds just gazing at the reflection of piss-yellow beer. His under eyes are so black. The lines on his face deepen, the stress of today’s fight emphasized. For a moment he forgot that today he got squeezed like a stress ball and Rebecca almost died. Oh god, Rebecca almost died. He almost loses her today.

Why the fuck did he get a beer.

“I can see you spiraling,” Chris snaps him out with a shoulder shove, they’ve been doing that a lot. “What is it?”

“Just saw my reflection, I look like shit.”

“Yeah duh, remember what happened today? We both looked like shit.”

Leon narrows his eyes at Chris, who has a few scrapes on his face and a cut on the bridge of his nose. His face is still as bright as ever, though scruffy. Even after through all that shit, this man managed to come out of it like a goddamn prince charming with flowing cape a halo behind him and a white horse.

Then Leon looks back to the reflection on his beer.

“Fuck, I’m so old,” The words that escaped his lips sting deeper than he had predicted. It’s not a look thing. It’s just an energy thing. He’s so tired. Why is he suddenly so tired of everything.

Then his reflection is gone, swept by a hand that made every glass looks like a dwarf’s. Chris chugged his beer down in a couple of chugs. If Leon’s not pissed, he would’ve been impressed, that’s some throat he got there. Wait, what?

“Hey! That’s mine!” Leon whined, and Chris sighed, putting down the empty jug of beer.

“Get another drink that you can’t see yourself in. Hell, do more shots if ya have to. Wait no I take that back,” Chris quickly says after seeing Leon have four fingers up at Max, about to have the same number of shots. “I’ll buy you a whiskey, how bout that?”

Leon didn’t say anything and just let Chris wave to Max for a whiskey and only speak to make it another double. After he got his drink, he’s not in a hurry as he was originally about downing those four shots. Chris stopping him made him lose his mojo. Drinking with someone sure ain't boring, or maybe that’s just Chris? Whatever, he doesn’t want to think about hard complicated stuff, isn’t that why he’s drinking?

He knows, that no one in his field ever really retires. In every mission, he feels his body strained easier, quicker. Like today, like just now, he’s just so tired, but he knows the moment he hits the bed, he won’t be able to sleep. He’d have to drink himself to unconsciousness to do so.

“Ever thought of retiring early?” Chris asked sympathetically, and when Leon meets those earnest judgeless eyes, it’s like a keycard opening his doors.

“Thought of it? Countless of times. Actually meaning it and wanting to go through with it? Never.” Leon shakes his head to emphasize his last statement. “In the end, this is all I can do, the only thing I’m good at, and...” Leon looks at Chris, “Even though I quit, I know my friends will still need my help and I can’t refuse.”

It feels like a century ago that he’s just 21 years old, fresh out of the academy, baby faced and naive. He’s not young anymore, he’s old and expandable, but that’s okay. He chose this, still choosing this, so that he can save the people entangled in this useless terrorist attacks. That’s all he wanted then, that’s what he wanted now. That part of him will not change, because Leon would not let it.

“And Rebecca knows that,” Chris completed, looking guilty, “I was so sure you’re gonna say no, but Rebecca proves me wrong.”

“Why do you think I’ll say no?”

“I can see that you’re exhausted, I knew that look on anyone. I know I pushed with anger, but I didn’t have the heart to actually force you, until Rebecca was kidnapped and...” Chris shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s also when I knew I had to.” Leon sips his drink and he only has a finger left. “I whine and bitch about being stuck in a loop, about not making a difference, but in the end, I’ll never gonna stop anyway, I’ll never stop fighting too. Even though it does feel useless, that my broken bones and spilled blood and the friends I lost didn’t seem to make a dent in these fucked up creature war. I’ll still take missions as soon as one pops out because what the fuck else can I do?”

Chris hums as he watched Leon downed his whiskey. “Can’t live with it, can’t live without it. Took the words right out of my mouth. Just me and my work till death do us part.” Chris chuckled, amused at his own joke.

“Can always retire when you’re 50. That’s in like what, couple more years?”

Chris scrunch up his nose in distaste, “I’m not that old yet.”

“What I meant is that we’re in our forties now, it’s that time of the year where we have a mid-life crisis and plan retirement.” Leon grabbed him by the biceps and shakes him as if to make him listen, like how a child would.

“I retire when _you_ retire.”

“If I jump off a cliff would you follow me too, huh?”

“We have the same principle about this job Leon. You’re not gonna see me retire, as I won't see you do.” The way Chris said it, the solemn tone in his face, the defeated smile, the down casted eyes, it gutted him open. Leon is different, isn’t he? Leon doesn’t have a chance, but Chris does. Good golden boy kind Chris Redfield has a chance.

He’s getting too drunk to think rationally. Leon looks to the side, through his hair, at Chris who has the same discomfort on his face. And they just look at each other, smiling a bit, thinking of what’s next to say, since it stopped on a depressing note.

“Ya know, words coming outta your mouth is sad, but you don’t look it, and I know you’re not an actor,” like his stealth, his acting is shit,. “Even after today, after losing someone, you bounce right back up so easily, even though I know you don’t! You just make it look so easy, and I... I envy you of that.” There, he said it. Tomorrow he’s gonna beat himself over it for confessing that, but the alcohol in his system gave him mercy for the embarrassment for now.

“It’s not as easy as I make it look. None of this ever easy. And I have to bounce back up eventually, I’m fighting for the future of those close to me after all.” Like a damn sunshine, Chris smiled as if it’s something he accepted.

Only then he’s reminded that the sun is still outside and they’re day drinking. Made sense though, Chris has a lot of people to live for, while Leon doesn’t... No, that’s not true. He has Sherry that he thinks of his daughter. Claire, his super mega best friend. Sasha, another super mega best friend of eastern Europe that’s still been writing him letters. A lot of people that he pushed because what? He’s too scared? Why is he pushing them away?

“What are you thinking?” Chris asked.

“That I miss Claire,” Leon admits and sips his whiskey slowly. “I miss everyone, but at the same time, I can’t see them. I... The things that crossed my mind instead was... was...”

“That you’re gonna lose them?” When Chris finished his sentence, Leon looks up fro his drink with wide eyes. Why is he so surprised that Chris is empathic? That’s not so surprising, is it? “I’ve been there before. I did my mission in teams most of the time, don’t do a lot of solo covert like you. I lost... I lost a lot of my men.”

The confession punched the soul out of Leon’s body. He’s so deep into his own asshole that he didn’t even realize that Chris had been through a lot worse than him. They’ve both lost people in their team, got their hearts ripped open again and again. Losing so that humankind can win, and Chris has been in this shithole way longer than he is, yet still emerging more gracefully than Leon could ever be.

Chris seems to realize the mental fight inside him and put a hand on his uninjured shoulder.

“Take your time, but don’t take too long, okay? Talk to your friends, hell, don’t even have to talk, just invite me for a drink like this. Another day, I’ll get wasted with you and we’ll get a cab, or we can just drink at your place, whatever you want, sounds good?” Chris retracts his arms, folding them on the bar and bumps shoulders with him.

For a grown man with scrapes peppered around his face, his smile makes him look so youthful and boyish, like a decade younger than Leon, even though Chris is older than him. Eyes glimmering, persuading, and Leon is so weak to a pretty face with pretty eyes. He knows Chris is kind, but this is reaching. Even Leon feels kind of uncomfortable by this kindness that he feels like he needed to earn it first. He can be selfish, can’t he? Chris offered, and he can just, take it in.

 _Yeah, sounds good_ , was what he was about to say, but his mind did an epic mental gymnastic and landed on, “Claire is so lucky to have you as a brother.” He sees Chris and feels so jealous that she gets to call him out of the blue, to hear his voice, and to just say anything and be replied with kindness and worry in that dad/mom voice. That’s kind of a pathetic reason to be jealous about.

“You have me too,” Chris soothed, and that just... did something to his heart. Chris shouldn’t give himself away so cheaply when Leon hadn’t done anything to earn this kindness from him, what is he doing? “Speaking of Claire, her birthday is coming up.”

“I-I know. I got her presents ready, and someone is gonna deliver it on her birthday in case I’m away.”

Chris seems to find that interesting as his bushy eyebrows climb. Maybe it’s new to him, but Leon had done it for a few years now. Either too drunk, too tired or in a mission, he’ll have someone deliver presents with a handwritten card that hopefully made up his lack of presence from being an absolute mess or in a mess.

“What did you get her?”

“Madonna’s Erotica album and a picture of her kissing Britney spears, both of them signed. I was surprised when I learned that she likes her, Madonna is not from her time.”

As it’s possible, Chris’s eyebrows climb even higher, with a dropped jaw to boot. “How do you even get those?”

“Uh, money? And I know a guy. Those two combined, you can get anywhere in the world. You should know that, Chris.” Leon knows that both items are impressive and rare, but it’s honestly not that hard to get. Leon a lot of resources at his disposal, courtesy of his job.

“That must’ve cost a fortune!”

“So? It’s my best friend’s birthday, of course, I’m gonna splurge. Least I can do when I couldn’t see her as much.”

“You see, about that.” Oh, Leon doesn’t like that tone. That’s the ‘I’m gonna ask you about something you don’t want to do, but the world is at stake so you have to’ voice. “They haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought you’d come to her party and surprise everyone. Sherry will be there. There’s gonna be the Burtons. Rebecca and Jill too.”

That doesn’t sound so bad.

“Looks like it’s gonna be a big party.”

“It also serves as a get-together.”

“I-I’ll try to be there, I want to be there.”

“I know you do.” Chris puts his hand on Leon’s head, rubbing his head and run his fingers through his hair. It felt time slowed down and Leon feels his eyes flutter close to savor the feeling. Then Chris quickly retracts himself as if he got burned. “Sorry bout that, I tend to do that a lot.” As extra damage, Chris packed a blush on his face. Damn. The man wears a blush so pretty.

“Don’t worry bout it, it’s nice.” That’s the sign, that’s it, he’s getting too drunk.

Even so, the showing signs of drunkness never stopped him before. The more reason to drink more, to forget the stupid shit that’s done by his drunk persona. That’s another loop in his life. A loop among many. A loopniverse.

“Heheh, loopniverse,” Leon mumbled as he waves to Max for another whiskey, but a single this time.

Chris narrowed his eyes at Leon’s weird remark. “That’s the last one you’re drinking by the way.”

“Boo!” Leon whined, “I’m drinking till I drop, and you can’t stop me, boulder boy!”

“Is that a challenge? I can punch a boulder and I can carry you easy peasy,” Chris says, with a teasing smirk that stopped Leon to look at his arms, and his shoulder. Damn this man _can_ stop him. He’ll be lifted like a feather and thrown on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“C’mon man, it’s my vacation!” Leon dug the tip of his shoes on Chris’s calf. Fuck, even that part of him is hard. How many years had this man worked off his depression away to get this much muscle!

“Tomorrow is still your vacation,” Chris coaxed with a husky deep voice and it goes straight to his gut. His eyes look pleadingly at Leon, doing the Rebecca stare and it’s working.

“Fine!” Leon sighed, sipping his whiskey to last while his buzzed out brain working overtime to look for a place to stay. He doesn’t have a house in this part of the city, which means he has to go to a hotel. Great.

“I don’t have a house near here, so you gotta choose a hotel for me.”

“Or you can crash at my place if you want? I got a spare room.”

That makes Leon’s heart hammer more than he’s proud to admit. Sleeping at Chris’s place, in his personal space, seeing Chris is casual clothes. Suddenly his mouth moves before he can stop himself. “That’ll be nice, but I warn you, I’m a mess when I’m drunk and in personal spaces.”

Chris chuckles, and Leon has to look at Chris because it’s the most beautiful and innocent thing he’s ever seen. Yeah, he’s getting too drunk.

“I’ll take note of that.”

++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this isn't accurate. I never drink alcohol before and never got drunk. I'd be arrested.
> 
> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Open to critics. Comments and Kudos if you like this~
> 
>   
> [find me on tumblr!](https://emotionalcello-makefanfics.tumblr.com/)


	2. Eat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go back to Chris's place and talk some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno how yall, check temperatures, but this is how my folks do it.

“You okay, man?” Max says after he approaches them.

“Peachy,” Leon’sballs drop as he slurs, and pushes his card to pay his tab.

“Yall want me to get ya a cab?”

“No, I’m driving,” Chris lift his glass, showing that it’s not even drunk in half.

Since the beginning, Chris never intended to actually drink. He’s just humoring Leon while keeping an eye on him. Claire had told him all about Leon, and now he knows that Leon didn’t tell her everything. He knew the second they land, Leon is going to return in the same spot where they pick him up, perhaps at a different part of the world. Sitting alone, drinking his sorrows away, spiraling into the dark pit of his mind, then drink more to forget how dark it is, but it won't stop the spiral down the ditch. Chris has been in that position, and he’s not gonna let anyone to be trapped in that state if he can help it.

“Put his drink on my tab,” Leon says weakly, but Max hears that well and starts putting the bill together.

“Dude,” Chris playfully shoves him, then got flustered when his strength makes Leon topples to the side, though he’s still seated on the stool.

“Don’t ‘dude’ me!” Leon points at his nose as soon as he regains balance in his little tall seat, “It’s the least I can do for the oncoming shitshow.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Chris says, and he has a feeling he’s gonna eat his words.

“Didn’t you see how many liquids disappear in me?” The first step he takes, Leon is already swaying. “I’m already feeling so sorry for your future self. You sure you want to get through this?” Leon gestured to himself and as Chris sees it, he’s never been more sure. Leon needs someone with him now that he’s not even in the right mind to take care of himself. And why would Chris pass a chance to hang out with Leon some more? “It’s not too late to tap out now, you can just drop me in a hotel.”

“You’re coming with me, Leon. Stop trying to talk me out of it,” Chris ensured, taking Leon’s uninjured arm, “Now, c’mon, I’ll help you to my jeep.”

“No!”

Despite his petulant protest, Leon lets Chris sling his arm around his shoulder and manhandle him to the parking lot. Chris nods to Max goodbye as the older man told him to bring Leon back again sometimes. The sun is setting when they step out of the bar. As they exit, more people come in after getting off from work, some in suits, some in construction gear. So stark the difference of their life, so unlike Leon and he.

Chris holds him by the waist in one hand and opens the passenger seat with the other. While Leon’s not aware, he lifts him to the seat with one hand around his back and the other under the legs. Then he’s up there in no time.

Leon sits on the passenger seat with fluttering eyes that gazes away to the parking lot, seeing the same crowd that just walks into the bar. His dark brown hair covers part of his eye and the faint scar across his cheek. Even when he’s vulnerable and sleepy like this, his eyes are still as sharp and wary of what’s around him. Chris didn’t realize he’s still in the parking lot with the passenger door in hand while staring at Leon until the man himself chirped with a weak smug grin.

“What are you looking at me for?” Leon says with a flirtatious tone and a smirk to boot, which makes Chris thinks that maybe that’s just his alcohol-infused brain talking. Leon is a ladies man, always has been, as he heard. Always a girl on his side to help or needed help. Always a girl pining on him, and Leon would just brush her away. Though today he learned that girls aren’t the only ones in his interest pool.

Despite the reputation, Leon sounded like he did try to have a meaningful relationship, though, Chris didn’t know how Leon would be in one to break off with a handful of people.

Even so, Leon seems genuine, just something that his gut tells him.

“Just thinking that you’re gonna be a killer silver fox. I pity the men and women in your path that can’t get it with you.”

Leon narrowed his eyes and frowns, “You’re calling me old, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m complimenting you.”

Leon barked out a laugh and Chris slams the door close. When he hops into the driver’s seat, Leon is still laughing.

“I didn’t expect a silver fox compliment till I’m 50-ish, but you know what, I’ll take it.”

“Good,” Because Chris can’t handle Leon laughing. His voice light and cheerful, instead of the depressing low he’s been using the whole day, it’s making his heart do funny things. Chris doesn’t want to take it the wrong way, but he prides himself for making Leon looks less broody, because the man is even more handsome smiling.

Leon looks away to the street. The city lights getting brighter and the area denser the longer he drives. Even though he needs to keep his eyes on the road, he can’t help glancing to the side, where Leon’s eyes are assessing the environment, even now.

It’s been in his mind for the whole day while watching him drink. He had seen pictures of Leon, mostly case reports about him. He had ash-blond hair in most, sometimes pale yellow blond, then now, it’s brunette. He wonders if it’s an ‘agent’ thing. Yet in any color, Leon seems to rock it just fine. He had thought that the ash blond is his favorite, now he popped out in this dark chocolate hair that also looks yummy on him... That’s a scary power.

One thing that doesn’t change is the piercing blue irises in that sharp shape of his eyes. Everything about Leon is masculine. From the shape of his eyebrows, nose, and jaws, he’s the embodiment of devilishly handsome. He’s not gonna lie, there are a few times when Leon looks at him with a specific expression and specific tug on his lips and... a specific glint in his eyes that makes Chris feels a little ruffled. Yet despite all the masculinity, the only thing that popped in Chris’s mind to describe him is... pretty.

A whistle breaks the silence, “You live in a pretty good area.” And don’t even get Chris started with that voice.

“Yeah, but don’t get your hopes up. My apartment is pretty simple.”

“I have zero of them. As you’re not lying about that guest bedroom.”

“You wound me,” Chris chuckles when he sees Leon’s glare looks like a pout when he’s drunk. “You think I’d lie to you?”

“You’ll be one along with many others, so it’s not gonna surprise me.”

Chris shoves back the grim feeling when he sees that Leon kinds of shrug it off playfully. “I won't be one of them. You’re gonna have a nice room on your own.”

“Nice,” Leon says deeply with a smirk.

He passed a few restaurants that make him craves them. Maybe he’ll order some food. At the thought of food, he just realized that they haven’t eaten anything substantial from this morning.

“Leon, what do you want for dinner?”

“The fuck? Why would I want dinner this late at night?”

“It’s 6 PM.”

Leon widens his eyes, looking at Chris as if inspecting and thinking, making him fidget on his seat. He can tell what the other is feeling, he’s bound to learn that when he raises Claire through her moody teenage phase and her silent treatments but he can never really tell _what_ Leon is thinking. “No... I’m gonna skip dinner, I don’t want to sober up just yet.”

Well, that’s not an encouraging peek into his mind.

“We haven’t eaten anything substantial from this morning, we have to eat something.”

At the mention of that, Leon groaned and rub his face. “No wonder I’m in an awful mood, you guys make me miss my breakfast! And of course I feel like shit because I haven't eaten anything.”

“I think the shit feeling was the six shots of vodka you took. We got protein bars on the way to the doctor, remember? You inhaled 5 of them in 20 steps,” Chris pointed amusedly, though he’s not one to talk, because Chris also eats five in 20 steps or less, he just didn’t expect Leon would too.

“Five protein bars is not breakfast! And it came from a vending machine, it’s barely even food! Now you’re gonna deal with cranky me on top of drunk me, you’re gonna deal with hell!”

Chris chuckles at the retort. He could’ve been cranky by many other reasons, the pain on his ribs perhaps, or the fact that they barely save half of New York and Rebecca. Chris exhaled, feeling the exhaustion after he’s letting today’s shitstorm sinks in. He knows Leon must’ve felt it too, isn’t that why he wanted to drink in the first place? It’s a miracle none of them dropped at the bar and just slept there. Especially Leon after all that poison in him.

They rolled to the apartment’s basement parking lot, and Chris is already thinking of ways on how to carry Leon up to his place. Even so, he’s aware of Leon’s pride about the whole thing.

“Can you walk?” Chris asked as he opened the passenger door since Leon doesn’t seem to budge since they’ve parked.

“Don’t want to,” Leon whined.

Chris tried to bite off his smirk. A few hours ago, Leon was hell-bent on not wanting to be carried, now look at him. “Want me to carry you?”

“Don’t fucking cradle me, pick me on your back.”

“Did you forgot your cracked ribs?”

Leon winced, “Don’t remind me.”

“Alright, here we go.” Chris slips his arms under Leon’s legs and around his back.

Despite his slender figure, Leon is heavier than he looks. He can feel his toned legs on his arms, heavy and hard. His back hunched towards Chris, an arm holding around his shoulder, awkwardly trying to hold on while being subjected to a position he strongly disagrees on.

“I change my mind, this is too embarrassing,” Leon whispered and wiggle out of his arms then he falls back to the ground. The only saving grace that prevents him from face-planting onto the concrete floor is Leon’s arms around his shoulder and Chris’s arms around his waist.

“Can you walk?” Chris repeats.

“Just drag me as you did to the car.”

“Alri~ght,” Chris sings, and he does drag him like a rag doll... to the eleventh floor, at the furthest end of the hallway. Hand securing the arms around the shoulder, another firmly on his waist, the agreeable position.

Leon doesn’t seem to mind that much, he’s perfectly content of being dragged across the hallway. Chris puts him on the sofa as soon as he closes the door of his apartment. It’s not much space, but it’s homey, close to what he had when he used to live with Claire before shit hits the fan.

Beside the sofa is a recliner and an armchair, completing the set is a coffee table. Further back in the room is a kitchen area complete with a round dining table, dividing the kitchen area and the living area is a kitchen island perched from the wall. Across the sofa, a flat-screen tv hanging on the wall and under it is a cabinet for a few consoles and cassettes of video games. On the right of it is his weight exercise machine and the other side is a double door to his room and the guest room. There’re pictures on the wall of his friends and family around the house, mostly beside the TV and above the sofa, both gone and alive.

Chris sees how Leon looks around silently as he’s laying on the sofa, with dormant limbs and tired eyes.

“What do you want to eat?” Chris says, already whipping out his phone.

“You’re cooking?”

“Nah, I don’t have the energy for that.”

“Hmm... I’ll leave it to you. Can’t think.”

“There’s a Korean place that sells boneless chicken with some spicy sauce.”

Leon smiles and hums that close to a moan that’s sinful to the ear, “That sounds good with beer.”

“It does, and I have two packs in the fridge.”

Leon eyes him carefully, thinking, and finally saying, “Thought the whiskey from today is my last drink. And you’re letting me drink again? Not that I’m complaining.” Leon smirked, pushing himself up and falls majestically.

Chris bites back the chuckle but it’s too late, Leon heard him and glares. It’s just funny that the legendary agent, Leon S Kennedy, is acting like a newborn fawn in his living room.

“You seem like you can hold your alcohol, it’s just light beer, and I’m limiting you to two.” Chris puts on the number of the restaurant and dial.

“Woo hoo,” Leon says flatly, knocking his head back to the sofa and stare at the ceiling. “Hey, if it’s a Korean restaurant, do they have that sour soup thing?”

“Kimchi soup?”

“Yeah that, I want that.”

“Okay.” The phone picks up, and a cheerful woman replies. The owner keeps his number, an old woman with a thick accent that’s always so sweet to Chris. Chris puts in his order and she says her grandson will come and deliver it.

“Oh? I thought Daniel is still in South Korea.”

“Ah, didn’t work out. He works here now, helps me with business.”

“That’s great! You won’t be as busy now!”

“Yeah yeah. When you come over, huh? Come over Chris, have tea with me, I give you potato pancakes,” Chris felt himself smile, he does miss her company. She always has funny stories of her customers and some dramatic stories of her family. She has a big family yet no one barely visits her since her sons are all over the city and some in another country, so she barely has anyone to talk to.

“I promise Seung-ok.”

“Ok, bye-bye.”

“Bye.” Chris hangs up, and only then he noticed that Leon has successfully pushed himself up then straight up starts to take off his clothes.

The sudden skin exposure jolts him, takes him a few moments to tell himself that there’s nothing weird at seeing an exposed skin, but his heart rebelled and jumped anyway. His eyes roam over Leon’s chest yet again. He only glanced at him at the doctor’s office but now he’s openly staring as Leon seems to struggle to take off his clothes.

Leon is unfairly perfectly toned. Not as built as Chris but his muscles are there, beautifully carved into his torso. There’s calloused scar peppered here and there, a bullet wound on his shoulder, and across his chest. One along his tapered waist that-

Leon grabbed the band of his pants and his brain short circuit.

“Whoa! What are you doing?” Chris stops, and Leon looks surprised that Chris is there. Then he’s reminded that Leon is drunk.

“I...” Leon’s face gradually reddens, and so is Chris. “Um, the clothes feel itchy... can I take a shower?”

“Su-Sure.” Chris leads him to the double door then to the right. The guest room reserved for when his friends come over, but the frequent use of this room is Claire. Her things are in there, from bath products to her clothes.

“Bathroom’s right there,” Chris points to the door on the left of the room. This room mirrors his, same double bed, same bathroom, but Chris’s has windows while this one doesn’t. “I’m gonna get you a towel and some comfy clothes.”

“Thanks,” Leon makes a b-line to the bathroom and Chris watches him go. He’s definitely not checking Leon out.

Really, no.

Okay maybe a little, his back is lean with elegant lines and muscled curvature, also peppered with scars but what distracts him the most is the blue and yellow blooms on his ribs and a big one on his spine. It looked scary and serious, but the doctor did say that there’s nothing wrong. Chris leaves the guest bedroom, crossing his fingers that Leon won’t pass out in there.

When Chris enters his room and sees his bed, his body automatically turns off every defense and stops using the emergency energy he’s been using to function. The bed itself like a succubus to his tired body, and before he can resist, he’s already lying down. All thoughts turned off, and the only thing his mind focused on is the soreness and the bruises that are forming. He didn’t feel any sharp pain, nothing that restrict him from moving. He was checked first when he landed. Then once more with Leon. Nothing’s broken, just a few sore spots that are gonna leave an ugly mark for a few days.

But it hurts now, mostly is back and his thigh.

He would’ve sleep then and there as he lays horizontally across his bed if he had not remembered that he just ordered food and Leon is in the other room. Then his hunger defeats his fatigue.

Chris takes a deep breath and goes back on his feet. He pops a tylenol from his medicine cabinet and drinks the water from the sink, hoping that he’ll feel the effect soon.

Chris opens his closet, trying to find the softest clothes he can find. Most of it is gonna be baggy on Leon but that’s good, no pressure on the ribs. Chris could’ve picked any clothes and sweat pants he has and it’ll be good, but he kept choosing and soon half his wardrobe is stacked on the bed because he’s choosing which clothes looks good on the lean bodied agent. Chris feels his face heated up and he rubs them, then flinching as he touched the scraped skin on his left cheek.

Chris finally settles on a dark blue hoodie and grey sweats, because they’re the softest thing he owns, totally not because Leon would look good in an oversized hoodie, or good in blue. Wait, will Leon need underwear? He’ll throw one if he wants to wear one, it’s totally not weird at all. Just dudes lending underwear, it is not weird.

Leon is still in the showers when he enters the guest room with the clothes. Chris puts the clothes on the bed and throws in a towel as well in case Leon doesn’t know where to find them. Just as he puts one step out of the room, the shower stop, and exchanged with a gag and a belching noise that makes Chris whip his head back.

“Leon!” Chris bangs on the bathroom door, “Are you okay?”

There’s moaning and groaning on the other side of the door, then followed with a guttural hurl.

“No...” Leon answer weakly, his voice echoes familiarly. Chris had taken care of drunks before, and that’s a voice echoed from the toilet bowl. “I-” Then his explanations cut short with another belching and his gut contents hitting the bowl.

There’s nothing he can help with here, he doubts that Leon wants him to walk in there and hold his hair back while he’s naked and vomiting. So, he gets a glass of water and set it on the nightstand.

“Leon?” Chris knocks on the door, and hear no reply. “I got you a glass of water, you better drink it.” Chris waits again for a reply, for any sound of reply, press his ears close to the door and still hears nothing.

Patience was not his strong suit, not when he’s worried. “Leon!” He barks loud as he bangs the door, thinking maybe Leon is asleep by the edge of the toilet. He waits and still nothing.

When he opens the door, Leon has his arms around the toilet seat, deathly pale face resting on his arm, heaving with half-lidded eyes. Chris quickly returns with a towel and wraps it around his naked shoulder. His hand grabs the back of Leon’s head firmly to press their temples together to check his temperature.

“You’re burning up,” Chris mumbled in a quick panic, the same time Leon chanted softly, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m okay, it’s okay.”

“No you’re fucking not!” Chris’s snapped out of panic, voice angry, and frustrated because Leon dares lie to him that he’s fine when the man is trembling in his arms and burning up. He was fine before. Chris cursed at himself for not noticing that Leon is getting sick.

Leon jolts at the raised voice, eyes blown wide when Chris carries him up and sits him on the bed and lean him on the headboard. Chris doesn’t know what happened, and he shields Leon’s eyes, then grabs his jaws and lean him to the light.

“I don’t have a concussion, Chris,” Leon says with a weak raspy voice, “I didn’t fall and hit my head or anything like that.” Chris lets go of his jaw and hands him the water. Leon raises his trembling hands and holds it. Even though Chris is skeptical if Leon can hold it, he lets go, because he already carried him out and he doesn’t want to be more patronizing than this. Leon lift it, though shaky, he’s able to drink it himself.

“Sorry, I was... Sorry,” Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and sigh, reasoning with his unreasonable panic. This isn’t war, Leon’s life is not threatened. Leon will be fine. Chris is gonna watch over him today and tomorrow, and he’s going to be fine. He’s going to be fine, Chris, stop acting like you’ll lose another one. He’s here, he’s breathing, he’s okay. Chris sighs a long heavy breath.

He must be staring because Leon shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. Leon looks sheepish and shy, and Chris doesn’t know what would make him look so.

“I’m the one’s sorry,” Leon croaked, though weakly, the man grins and shrugs, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Chris finds his smile when he noticed that Leon drank all the water and stops shaking. “It’s all good, you’re not the only nor the worst drunk I’ve taken care of. Piers and Jill is way worse than you. They broke my window, somehow toppled this bed upside down, and screams so loud that I got a complaint. Claire is way worse, she flushes my succulent down the toilet because they’re an impostor of my cactus. I never had a cactus, and that succulent doesn’t even look like a cactus! Poor Zeze... It doesn’t want anything from me and so good to me and how do I treat it? Let my sister flush it down the toilet.” At this point, Chris is just venting, but it’s not all for naught.

Leon chuckled, eyes crinkling and voice deep yet light. Something about the curve of his mouth that’s so elegant and effortlessly charming that makes his cheeks tingle. He looks better now, his eyes no longer gazing emptily, and he’s strong enough to pick up the towel on his shoulder.

The doorbell rings, must’ve been the food. The place is pretty close to his apartment after all, and Seung-ok always makes sure his order comes first even though he told her not to.

“That must’ve been the food, I’m gonna go get that,” then Chris leave Leon to his own devices.

He reaches the front door in a few wide strides and just as he was told, Seung-ok’s grandson is there with the mouth-watering scent of savory food.

“Daniel! You’re so big now!” Chris instinctually opens his arms and hug the boy. Last he saw him, he was only as tall as his chest, now he’s reaching up to his neck.

“Hey, Chris, sorry for keeping it short, I got stacks of deliveries ten blocks from here. So two portion of boneless chicken with mild spice, and a serving of kimchi soup?”

“That’s right,” Chris gives the money he prepared in his pocket that includes some hefty tips. “Have a great day!”

“You too dude. Drop by sometime, you’re the only one has the ears strong enough to hear my grandma talk.”

“I will.” Daniel leaves as quickly as he comes, diligent as always.

Chris put the chicken out of the box and onto a big plate, then the soup into a cat bowl that’s technically Claire’s. The smell made his mouth water, the spices, the savory and crunchy looking batter, and that orange-red glaze. It made him want to gorge the food then and there, but he’s gonna change first. Now that he thinks about it, he’s not sure that Leon wants to eat these after vomiting, something like porridge or soups would be easier for his stomach. He’ll ask Leon if he wants other stuff instead. He’s changing his mind for offering beers too, maybe Leon doesn’t need that after the DIY stomach pump.

Chris continues this train of thought as he walks to his own room and change in more comfortable clothes: sweats and worn Sum 41 tee, rest in peace. When he wonders if Leon’s okay with the clothes, his mind trails down to what happened earlier. Leon was naked when Chris barge into the room. Naked. Like butt naked because he just got off from the shower when he projectile vomits to his toilet. Chris hadn’t really paid attention when Leon’s pale withering face had taken all his attention.

His face feels warm, then hot, then Leon’s naked body in his peripherals is all that popped in his head.

“Fucking A, Chris, get your mind outta the gutter, not the time,” he said to himself and he washes his face with cold water and soap that stings his wounds. He looked into the mirror. There are few scabs on his face, the big ones are above his eyebrow and on his cheekbones, then a tiny cut on the bridge of his nose. They’re healing up pretty nice.

When he returns, Leon is already on the sofa, elbows on thighs and a chopstick in hand, already munching. Two cans of beer sit on the coffee table with the food and two glass of water, then another set of chopsticks set beside the plate of chicken. Leon looks up, adorning a guilty expression. His figure is entirely engulfed with Chris’s hoodie that’s way too big on him. The sweats don’t look too big on him, but it does deprive the world of those toned lean sexy le-

“Sorry, I’m really hungry and it smells so good.”

Chris cleared his throat, “No worries, are you sure you should be drinking beer?”

“But it’s chicken, how can I eat it without beer,” Leon retorts with a dead serious face, well, Chris is dead serious too.

“Okay, but remember, just two cans. Also, take the painkillers, and take deep breaths, and drink more water.”

Leon rolled his eyes till his blue eyes completely set behind the skull, “Yes mom. Already took the painkiller.”

“Good, come here,” or so Chris said, but he’s the one approaching while Leon froze in place as Chris grabs his jaw with gentle hands and presses their temples again, feeling the man in his hands takes a deep sharp breath. Leon isn’t burning up anymore, but still warm. So the high temperature must’ve been from shock when he was vomiting.

“Your temperature dropped,” Chris states satisfied and sits beside Leon, taking the chopstick and starts eating. His body immediately feels better when the weight of the food lands on his stomach.

“Was that what you were doing?” Leon remarks before taking a sip of beer, and somehow already reddish.

“Yeah, what else did you think?”

“I... I don’t know. Anything else but that. That’s not how you take a temperature.”

“How else would you?”

“You put your hand on the forehead!”

“Dunno bout you, but that’s how I always do it,” Chris shrugged when he sees Leon shakes his head and chuckles with pink dusted on his cheeks. Don’t know what’s that about, but whatever.

They should’ve been eating before they drank anything at the bar. Clearly, the crumbly small protein bars were not enough, but the two tired boys are just not thinking straight after the shitshow.

Chris turns on the tv, and the first channel that pops up is the news about New York. Chris immediately change the channel and try to find anything else more wholesome but almost every channel has breaking news reporting new york. That’s when Chris decides that it’s Netflix time.

“What do you wanna watch?” Chris asked, and Leon looks up from the bowl that’s half-empty with color returning to his face.

“Dunno, up to you, don’t think I want to watch anything now.” Leon slurps more of the red broth, humming delightfully as he gulped and spoons in some vegetables. Chris plays Brooklyn 99 season 3.

The chicken is half-finished, and while Chris was on an eating streak, his elbows in bumped with a warm bowl as Leon offered him to taste the soup. It’s good. Taste refreshing with sour and spicy flavors. Chris doesn’t take much since it’ll probably better for Leon to have it. Leon’s eyes lit up and seem more aware, he’s sobering up. He doesn’t know how much alcohol gets digested before he poured it back out, and tomorrow he could still potentially have a bad hangover.

“Can we order more food?” Leon says after looking at the plate and only 8 pieces left. “Still hungry.”

“Sure, what do you want?”

Leon takes a few seconds staring, and chug his Michelob Ultra to none. He pressed his lips as he burps, too bad, it sounds like it could’ve been impressive. “Burgers... and fries... and a pie.”

“The second round of greasy food coming up.”

Leon groaned, “My body’s gonna hate me with all these junk foods.”

“After today, we deserve a cheat day.” The burger joint Chris loves doesn’t deliver, so he’ll need to postmates it.

As he does, he feels Leon looking at him while chewing his food and leaning back with one foot folded up. Since he first finds him on the sofa till now, he doesn’t stop chewing and eating, only taking breaks to drink the beer and sometimes water. He must’ve been really hungry, and Chris is too, but he somewhat doesn’t feel like eating more. He forces himself though. He has to eat.

Leon has sauce on his lips and Chris's first instinct is to wipe it with his hands. Chris has always been hands-on with taking care of someone. But he doesn’t think or feel curious at how their lips would feel in his hands just like Chris thinks about Leon right now.

Chris stood up and leans back to the kitchen island, hiding his gradually reddening face.

“Got sauce on your lips,” Chris noted and looks away to the tv when he sees Leon licking his lips.

“... thanks.” Leon takes a sheet of tissue and rubs his lips. He slurps the last of his soup and stares at Chris’s face as he’s watching TV.

“You’re not eating as much as I did,” Leon remarks, and only then Chris realized he’s been sipping his beer and stopped taking the chicken.

“Oh, yeah,” Chris finishes the last five, as Leon is still staring at him with searching and thorough eyes. It feels like he’s being stripped naked, but he doesn’t really feel uncomfortable so he lets Leon look. In the end, Chris can’t take the heat under the gaze with this silence, so he looks back, gesturing ‘what?’, because Leon looks intense.

“Sorry for today,” Leon chirped weakly, and he was held in place by intense blue eyes with a face of apologetic gloom.

“I didn’t think you’ve done anything that upset me today.”

“I vomit on your toilet, made you take care of me. Hell, I even made you see me naked.”

Chris spills his beer at the last remark, and that seems to amuse Leon. Well, two can play that game. “I told you that I’ve handled worse. And you make it seem that I’m repulsed or something, I don’t. You got a great bod, it was a view for me.” Okay that’s too much, is _he_ drunk? “Sorry, that’s too far.”

Leon’s chuckles spare him, all dainty with his long lean fingers covering his lips and eyes twinkling. Leon pulls his feet up and tucks one knee on his chest. He seems relaxed, good.

“Things that’s out of line then,” Leon’s tone is lighter now.

“No... none of those either.”

“Even including me telling you to bone someone and get a life?”

“But you’re right, and I agree. _We_ should get a life.”

“Heh, whatever.” The other man grins, knocking back the beer and standing up to get another one. “Just know I didn’t mean it, I was drunk, still kinda tipsy. You do you, whether you want a life or not, shouldn’t have been my business.”

Chris doesn’t like this Leon, pretending to not care and pushing people aside when he looks like he meant the opposite. Chris knows that urge to push people away, not wanting to hurt them by seeing his ever-worsening conditions. He shouldn’t feel that way, he has no reason to feel that way. Piers had pulled him out of that ditch. Chris didn’t know how much it meant for him until his head is completely out of the water, how much he needs that hand when he doesn’t feel like he needs it. Chris hoped it’s the same with Leon, but Chris has a different method than Piers’s.

Leon returns, cracking the newly acquired beer and gulps.

“I don’t mind, sometimes I do need to be reminded.” Leon raises his eyebrows not believing him. “You just worry, and you cared, I can accept that.”

Leon parted his lips, eyes widen before looking away to the tv for the first time. Even so, Chris doesn’t think Leon is watching anything on the screen. From the sidelines, Leon’s side profile is incredibly dynamic with sharp angles and charismatic shapes. Those high cheekbones soon dusted with pink, adding more charm to the already deadly gorgeous face.

“We haven’t met at the best circumstances, and we always seem to be on different sides. But I’ve always looked up to you, and in some way, I do care about you.” The blush on his cheeks stays as he clears his throat and lifts his beer.

A lot of people look up to him, that much he knows, but to have Agen Kennedy himself look up to him, there’s some pride yet there's a feeling that made him shrink in shyness. They’re really here just stroking each other’s ego and being mushy towards each other since the first drink. Chris wonders if it’s just because of the alcohol. Leon can’t be that different sober, right? He’s more honest now, maybe Chris’s opinion will change in the morning, but right now, he’s enjoying Leon’s company. It’s never been boring so far.

“I’m flattered agent Kennedy, you’re not so bad yourself.”

Leon gags, and the acting so convincing that Chris panicked a bit, “Ugh, do not call me agent Kennedy when I’m not on the clock.”

“I won’t, I won’t,” Chris retreats.

The bell rings, must be postmates. When Chris is off to get the order and pay, he returns to a clean coffee table. The dirty plate and bowl are by the sink and Leon is silently washing them.

It’s two portions of extra-large double meat cheeseburgers that are as wide as their face and as thick as his palm with a side of fries. Chris already digs in before Leon finishes washing the dishes, “Fuck yeah,” he moaned, inhaling them like a starved man. Like a switch to his hunger finally switched on, maybe he just wasn't in the mood for chicken despite offering it.

“Can I get another beer?” Leon asked, and Chris looks up from his burger to his fridge opening and Leon bending down to look inside. Fucking kitchen island blocked his view though.

“You have pain killer on your system and just vomited.”

“So?”

“Please be kind to your body, Leon. Trust me, another one will make you feel worse,” Chris coaxed with a deep voice and flashing that charming Redfield smile as Claire called it. One moment their eyes met, and it took two seconds before Leon grumbles and close the fridge.

“You better make me breakfast tomorrow to make up for it,” Leon returns with a filled glass of water instead.

Chris flashed a victorious grin, “Promise.”

Leon takes a bite and chew, pushes a few fries in his mouth as well, and moaned, “Fuck yeah.” And Chris is smiling at their twin reaction.

They didn’t talk much with food in their mouths. Chris is watching the Halloween heist pulling together, and of course he knows how it turns out, he rewatched the show three times now. True to his word, Leon doesn’t watch anything, sometimes his eyes are on the screen but he can tell that his mind is elsewhere. Now, Leon is munching happily while looking at the burger like it’s his long lost love.

Despite Chris having an early start, Leon finished first and dug into the plastic bag to find the pie in a styrofoam container. It seems like it’s a butterscotch pie with a once perfect dollop of whipped cream on top, now it’s all over the container. Leon helps himself to a fork from his kitchen and take a hefty piece of the pie, and hums after putting it in his mouth.

“Good?” Chris asked, “I didn’t know what pie you want so I just pick that.” Chris scrunch the paper wrappings of his burger as he takes the last bite of his burger and drinks his half-drunk beer.

“It is, and don’t worry, I don’t know what pie I wanted either. Here.” Leon thrust his fork towards his lips with a chunk of the pie and whipped cream on top. Chris takes it before Leon can second think about it. It’s sweet, caramel-y, and decadent, great if paired with milk.

“It’s great,” Chris hums, sitting sideways to face Leon, awaiting more pie.

“Yeah, something sweet after all that salt,” Leon feeds himself then take another piece to feed Chris.

 _This is surprisingly nice_ , Chris thinks. Leon is in no way a stranger before today. After Shanghai, they all get together at a bar, with Sherry, Jake, Helena, Piers, Leon, and Chris. Both didn’t have a chance to talk before drinking themselves out cold. Before they parted, Leon and Chris shake hands, says ‘catch you around’, before stumbling into their respective taxis. That was years ago. Leon hasn’t changed since then. He looks like he’s been 40 for years now.

He wouldn’t have thought that he’ll have this night with the same Leon that’s been hand feeding him pie like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Telling him to get a life because he’s worried. Gave him pats on the face and his back as if they’ve been close for years and tonight is just another night. And Chris is here, taking it all, opening his mouth when a pie is coming. He chewed the inside of his cheeks when Leon pats him on the face because he would’ve broken into a big goofy grin.

Leon gives the last bite of pie to Chris, and the gesture was light but it made Chris smile like a fool. He never has a company like this. This is a bit different than a normal interaction with platonic friends and a far one from a one night stand. Either way, Chris almost feels like he doesn’t want this night to end. If he does feel that way, then he’s in a bit of a pinch in how he should approach the problem, doesn’t he?

“Hey,” Leon called from the kitchen, refilling his glass of water, snapping Chris out of his daze.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna go back to my room, gonna try to sleep.”

“Oh, okay. There’s a spare toothbrush in the mirror cabinet in the bathroom.” Chris stood up, and tidy up the wrappings and cans of beer, thinking it’s time to hit the hay too even though it’s still 9 PM. “Do you need anything else before going to bed?”

“Um...” Leon closed his eyes, clenching it tightly shut. He seems like he’s thinking so hard and comes to a conclusion that he doesn’t want to say. “I think I’m good, good night.”

“Good night.” Chris watches Leon waddles to the guestroom, hoping he makes it to bed.

Chris thought he’ll have a hard time sleeping when he reached the bed because he’s still thinking of Leon, but he’s out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hungry when I make this chapter. I miss burger king. There's no burger king in my town. Thank for reading my short vent.


	3. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even when they're supposed to sleep, they talk even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Fluff Ahead.

His good night sleep doesn’t last long though, because a loud slam jolts him wide awake.

He looks at the digital clock by his nightstand. 1 AM.

There’s clinking by the kitchen. It could’ve been Leon, could’ve been someone else. He took a handgun from a hidden compartment under his bed and make his footfall as silent as a ghost. Right hand on the gun, the other on the door handle. The door parted slightly, enough for Chris to take a peek into the living room. It’s dark outside and dark in his room, but there’s no denying that the man that has his back on Chris is Leon. The lights from the balcony shine on his familiar silhouette as the man is looking at the family pictures above his sofa.

Chris sighs slowly and put his gun back to where he got it. His footfall is still silent, but he threads in less awareness.

He waits until he’s outside the door and five steps away from Leon that he calls his name softly. “Leo- Whoa!”

Leon spun like the tornado, eyes wide and breathing hard, the glint in his hand is a kitchen knife.

Chris puts his hands up, hunching his back to make him smaller and less intimidating. “Leon, what is it?”

“Chris?” Leon whispered, eyebrows knitting together as those eyes scan Chris’s face. Leon looks bewildered as he assesses his surrounding, eyes widen by the seconds before his hands withered, and the knife drops to the carpet. “I’m... I’m so sorry,” Leon blinks a couple of times, his face looks away in shame and embarrassment and so red that Chris can see it in the dark. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I-I get disoriented... There was a... I had a... I... never mind. I’m just- I’ll just go.”

“Hey, whoa, hold on. It’s okay.” Chris soothes yet his body is spread out to stop Leon from running away, and that makes Leon stand in his spot from that sprinting pose.

“It’s not, Chris. I’ll... I get out of your hair before you know it.”

Oh, Chris doesn’t like the sound of that. “Are you kidding? You can’t be alone, especially now, not after all that.”

Leon stiffens, even though Chris tried his best not to let anger get the best of him this time. Chris steps closer in amends, bending down so he can catch Leon’s down casted eyes. “I know I can’t force you to be here if you truly want to be left alone then-”

“I don’t- I don't want to... I know I shouldn’t and I can't...” Leon’s confession seems to be ripped out of his chest. The man’s face withers even more as if it’s possible. “But-”

“No buts. Come here,” Chris steps closer, taking Leon’s hand to his. His thumbs rub the knuckles of his hand, they’re rough and calloused all over. The one being soothed is Leon, but Chris is the one being calmed by the gesture. He was so sure Leon was gonna bolt in his seemingly disoriented state, and Chris won’t be able to sleep with that thought in mind. A big lump in his chest gone with a heavy sigh and the feeling of Leon’s hands in his.

“Want some tea?”

He doesn’t expect Leon to squeeze his hands. When those blue eyes look up at him, Chris felt the slight pressure of his soul being pierced, then Chris squeezed his hands back.

“Ca-Can you watch me sleep? Just... watch and if something happens, if I look different then... then you need to-” And just as soon as the boldness emerges for Leon to say that, shame made him retracts. “I know it’s weird, but I-”

“It’s not weird,” Chris calmed, and hope that his genuine intent shows. As much as it’s not weird for Chris, he does expect to sleep for 12 hours at least. He’s still tired, and he knows as soon as his alertness wears off, he’ll be out in a snap. “What if you sleep next to me? Is that okay?”

Leon didn’t even take a second to think and just nod.

“How about tea? Still want them?” Leon nods again. “I have sleepytime, lavender, chamomile-”

“Sleepytime,” Leon chirped weakly.

“Okay,” Chris pulls his hand to his room and Leon obediently just follows with hollow eyes looking down at their intertwined hands. Maybe Leon is sleepwalking or is not fully awake, but he did recognize Chris before, so, Chris hopes Leon’s consciousness isn’t gone for long.

“I’m gonna make the tea, okay? Make yourself comfortable,” Chris said as soon as Leon is seated on his bed and left before Leon can peep a reply.

Water in the pot, one cup with a sleepytime tea bag, another with lavender tea for Chris. He looks out to the balcony next to his dining table and muses as he waits for the water to boil. This doesn’t seem like the first time Leon woke up disoriented. If Chris is not here, how did he handle it? Just let himself wander around the house with a dangerous object in his hand? Maybe he’ll ask later.

Chris comes back with two cups of piping hot tea and finds Leon laying down horizontally on the bed from where he sits. The man quickly sits back up when he sees Chris, already looking awkward.

“Here you go, careful, it’s hot.”

They sit side by side, blowing on their tea and drink at their own pace, in silence. It’s not really awkward for Chris, but Leon looks like he’s functioning mechanically without any awareness, that part makes Chris troubled

Only after Leon looks more relaxed that Chris finally asks.

“Does this happen often?”

“Sometimes,” Leon answers with the lack of hesitation or secrecy that Chris expected. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping, mostly after missions. If I drink myself to sleep or with sleep medication, sometimes I’ll sleepwalk, thinking I was still in a mission, and I’ll wake up not recognizing my own house. I do come back to reality, approximately five to ten minutes.” His explanations come out like a report as if it’s nothing too worrying.

Well, Chris thinks otherwise.

“I can go back to my room now.” Leon is not looking up from the tea, his bangs covering half his face that Chris so badly wants to comb back behind his ear. But seeing Leon’s condition, it might not be wise to suddenly touch him.

“If you still want to share the bed I’m okay with it. _If_ you still want it,” Chris adds, just in case that Leon only says that thinking Chris would mind. Which he doesn’t.

Leon looks hesitantly at him, then towards the bed, then to his hands, fidgeting as he holds onto his half-drunk tea. Chris feels his heart heavy when he sees Leon’s hesitation. Heavy, thinking that Leon would persist to say no. If Chris is being honest with himself, he doesn’t want Leon to go back to the guest room. Leon had asked for him to watch him sleep with that look of fear. Just because he can conceal it now, doesn’t mean that fear is gone.

“Why are you hesitating to ask anything of me?” Chris blurts out in somewhat tired frustration. “I think I’ve expressed enough that I’m more than willing.”

Leon chewed his lips, his hands tightening on the transparent cup. Then he finally sighed, eyes looking up in a brave determination. “I don’t know how you’re still dealing with me. All I’ve been doing is being an insufferable version of myself. I don’t...” Leon gulped, and Chris catches that nervousness too. “We’re just started to get to know each other, and I don’t want to traumatize you away from me just yet.”

There’s a pregnant pause ready to burst but Chris doesn’t let by gritting his teeth, holding back a high-pitched coo at how cute that Leon is thinking of him.

“Today hasn’t been your greatest day, sure, it’s not mine too, but believe me, I _do_ enjoy spending time with you today. I get to know Leon instead of Agent Kennedy, and it’s been... kind of nice.” Chris shifted his eyes between his cup and Leon, feeling a boyish shyness after admitting that. He needs to get a grip and act his age, but he’s not in control of that.

“Really...” Leon said in disbelieve, as his eyes scanning him closely. “Damn, you really meant it.”

Chris sheepishly chuckles, face heating up. Well, if Leon can admit what’s bothering him, why can’t Chris? “You know, I was kind of happy when you agree to sleep in my bed. The idea of having a sleep buddy isn’t so bad. If you really have changed your mind, then I won’t force you, but if you still want it, then know that I’m more than happy to scoot over.”

Leon sighed in relief and offered a weak smile, “Yeah?” he said as if wanting to make sure just in case.

“Hell, I’ll even cuddle you, I want that too, anything as long as you sleep here,” Chris half joked, and that made Leon lightly chuckle.

“Okay, you drive a hard bargain, I’ll sleep here.”

Chris flashes a victorious grin. The jumping jacks on his heart isn’t gonna make sleeping easier.

They finish the tea. Chris walks around the bed to sleep on his side as Leon tuck himself in under the blanket. Leon rolls to the side, facing him, and Chris wants to stare at him but he doesn’t wanna scare him off his bed from being a creep.

“Chris?”

Oh thank god, Chris looks to his side and Leon’s head was barely visible under the blanket. Chris bites his lips, he can’t believe the badass agent can look this adorable.

“Yeah, Leon?” He replies when the other grows silent.

“I’ll take that cuddle now.”

Wordlessly, Chris shuffles to the side and put his arms under Leon’s neck. The other man quick to shuffle closer, leaning his head on Chris’s shoulder, slinging his arm across his chest and a leg on top of Chris’s. His arm wraps around Leon’s shoulder and leaning his face on top of Leon’s surprisingly soft hair.

“Your muscles are too hard, it’s like lying on a bed of rocks,” Leon retorts, and even so, the man doesn’t move an inch away from his body.

Chris chuckles, “You change your mind?”

“No.”

Chris chuckles and sinks into Leon’s body, feel the comfortable warmth and another beating heart beside him is like a lullaby. The man in his arms smells like floral shampoo, antiseptic soap, and something utterly different that he can’t pinpoint, something special to him. He wished Leon doesn’t mind him leaning his face this close on top of his head, and slinging his arm around the shoulder. Chris just can’t seem to let go.

He hears Leon sigh. He _feels_ Leon sigh. His breath on his chest, his lips and nose on his shoulder, and the light thrum of his chest. Leon’s thumbs rubbing circles on his sides. His eyes are on the ceiling, and he has nothing to focus on but Leon’s little gestures. These little signs of being alive.

Chris never realized that he had wanted this so badly until he has it now. He buries his nose on Leon’s hair and closes his eyes. No, he’s far from sleepy, his heart clenches at this newfound feeling. Has it really been that long since he has someone in his bed? No, not really. But someone to cuddle? He can’t even remember. Maybe it was with Jill, which is easily more than a decade ago.

“I’m gonna regret this when I woke up, aren’t I?” Leon murmurs against his skin, and even though the words ring with bitter resentment, as long as Leon is staying in his arms tonight, no one can take him down from the sky.

“I hope not. I think this is nice and I wish... I wish that I have...” Chris caught the last parts of his sentence and swallows it down. It’s not that it’s a secret, but it’s a tad bit embarrassing to say something so close to his heart wanting.

“What?” Leon demands, clutching his shirt.

“It’s embarrassing,” Chris feels his face heats up, thankful that he has the top of Leon’s head to hide his face.

Leon scoffs, and Chris can feel that too. “You can see me being all kinds of messed up, but I can’t see yours? Whatever it is, can’t be more embarrassing than me this whole day.”

“I told you, you’re not so bad, is it so hard to believe that I enjoy your company?”

“Yes!” Leon whined, indignantly. “Especially after I have contributed nothing but the filling of my gut, waking you up in the middle of the night, drink your beer, eat your food, and invading your space.”

Chris chuckles, “I _invited_ you to my space, and I like taking care of people. You seem to handle my insufferable mothering well, I think we mutually benefit each other.”

Leon scoffs again, he’s been doing that a lot today. “Is that what you have? The BSAA golden boy: Chris motherfucking Redfield’s absolute weakness is _caring too much_?” he raises his voice in mock at the last three words, and honestly, Chris gets it.

“That’s what I’ve been told.”

“They’re stupid!” Leon’s strong opinion startled him, he was so sure that Leon will agree with the people that had told him that. Maybe not yet.

“Just wait till we get to a phase where I’ll knock on your door unannounced just to see if you’re breathing.” Chris remembered grimly of being pushed away countless of times before, being looked at uncomfortably. But to be fair, it was his fault half the times. “Sometimes I just like knowing the people around me are good, eating right, going home okay. Some people think it’s invading their space and none of my business. I learn to hold back, but sometimes I feel better if I know, for the sake of my peace of mind. And even though I’m doing exactly that to you, I trust you to tell me when I’m pushing it too far.”

“And you’re right, I would’ve told you. This is... this is just fine for me,” Leon says as he nestles his face to the crook of Chris’s neck and he swears he thought he was having a legit heart attack.

Chris gathers himself up, as to not choke up when he says, “Good to know. Because back at the bar, I would’ve dragged you out by any means necessary before you get to your fourth shot, but I don’t want to be on your bad side right away.”

“Yeah that one would be pretty hardcore, but you won’t be on my bad side. I’ll be pissed sure, but I don’t think I can be really angry at you.”

Parts of Chris wants to think that Leon is just being nice, but parts of him believe that Leon isn’t one to just lie even for stuff like that, so... “What made you so sure of that? Even Rebecca, the most patient person I know, sometimes can be sick of me.”

Once again, Leon hums, Chris beginning to think that the man knows that he likes the way he feels when he does that. “Let’s just say... I’ve been with a lot of people, and get to be close with a few of various kinds, I know what I like and what I don’t like in a person. And that thing you’re worried about isn’t even gonna brush against my nerves.”

“Huh.” Chris looks out down to Leon’s back as his face leans even more to the top of the brunette's hair. “Alright, I’ll trust your judgment.”

“Good,” Leon sounds self-satisfied and chipper, another thing that adds to Chris’s list of ‘things Leon does that makes him feel things. “So? You were saying?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I asked you before, what did you wish you have before we got all distracted.”

Chris shrinks, he was hoping Leon would forget. Well, here goes nothing. “I was hoping that I get to have days like this more often,” As he said that, Chris instinctually squeeze Leon’s shoulder. “Especially a few years ago when I would’ve needed this so badly.” At the admission, Chris feels a heart jumped against his side. “Just being in each other’s company. Talk about whatever, act like whatever, eat while watching whatever on tv, and... cuddle.”

Leon hums, heart still beating wildly against Chris’s side as the long elegant fingers move on top of Chris’s heart. “So, domestic shit?”

Chris blurts out a chuckle at the sudden brashness, “I guess that’s it.”

“You can, you know?” Leon says in a resigned tone, hand patting Chris’s heart. “Take it easy on the missions. I know BSAA won’t have a problem with you being in a relationship. Open up to someone, maybe ‘the person’ is someone in your squad or around the corner of your office. At our age and occupation, it’ll only happen if you go for it. You deserve having domestic days, ‘bout time anyway, don’t you think?”

At that moment, Chris thinks of the what-ifs. With Jill, he had one of those honeymoon periods when they first got together, just cuddling and fucking and repeat, but it was so long ago that he forgets if it felt like this. He thinks of the other loved ones he has. Sure, he’ll give them this same treatment if they want to, hug them if they want, take care of them if they need to be, but he never feels like this. This feeling of not wanting to let go, already dreading for tomorrow when Leon will leave and the next chance they’ll ever get to meet is at another BOW disaster. He doesn’t want Leon to leave, how can he do that?

Chris chuckles as he questions that. How did he dig himself this deep so fast? Was he really that starved of affection? Now, how’s he gonna deal with this newfound realization? Logically, He would be moving too fast. The most rational thing to do is take it slow and spend more days hanging out before making his move. Yet, realistically, he doesn’t have that time to take it slow. Suddenly, Chris really feels his age, and not a lot can make him feel that way.

Fuck logic. He’s gonna do what he feels like. He doesn’t have time to second guess himself. No matter how illogical it seems, he knows himself, knows what he wants.

“What about you?” Chris says after a gulp, it sounded more relaxed than what he’s truly feeling.

“What?” Leon asked as if he was dazed just like Chris did just now.

“That person, what if it’s...” Chris can feel his pulse on his ears, his heart beating like after his fifth cup of coffee. Here he goes. “...What if I choose you?”

There’re a pause and tension so thick he can slice it and spread it on bread. “Me?” Leon sounds as if he’s not sure of what he’s hearing.

“Yeah, you. The ‘domestic shit’... With you.”

They fell into a heavy silence. Tension sitting on top of them, pinning both down to bed. They could’ve moved away to not be crushed, but no one leaves. Leon suddenly shifts, and Chris’s feel the twang of regret in his heart. But all of that disappears when Leon perched his elbows between his torso, his face so close that he can feel his warm breath against his face. Eyes so blue and clear and intense that Chris forgets to breathe. Leon literally takes his breath away, if that’s not a sign hitting him right in the head Chris doesn’t know what else is.

“Me,” Leon repeated, his eyes scanning for lies, and Chris knows he won’t find it.

Yet, still, something in the way Leon looks at him in disbelieve broke his heart. So, Chris says firmly to rid Leon of all doubts: “Yes.”

Their chests are pressing together when a beat pump louder than the rest, Chris doesn’t know if it’s his or Leon’s.

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” Leon says weakly, eyes widen in realization of what Chris is proposing.

“I dunno, what do you think I’m suggesting?”

That shuts Leon up, lips stubbornly pressed tight. So far, what he learned about Leon is that he’s a runner. It’s not who he is, but it’s his first instinct. He knows that Leon is deliberating what to do next. Those eyes that look away seems like he’s about to run away.

Well, as a wise man said, it’ll only happen if he goes for it.

“Tell me to my face that you don’t want this too, that you don’t want me too.” That was daring and was not what he had intended. Then the dread comes back, because, what if Leon doesn’t want this too? What if Chris is getting ahead of himself?

They pause for what it feels like ages, and the seconds added to the stretch loosen the tightness around Chris’s heart because the silence doesn’t mean no. Leon is deliberating because there’s a possibility of a ‘yes’.

“We can take it slow, see how it goes...” Chris wants to add that they have all the time in the world, but he knows that’s not true with their hazardous occupation. Each of them could be dead in their next mission, the more reason not to throw away something that could be good, the thing that can make them this relaxed and... happy. The more reason for Chris to cling to this feeling for Leon. They have no time to waste wondering and being in doubt.

So, Chris opted with, “We can take our time with it, doesn’t have to hurry for it to become something.”

Leon bites his bottom lip so hard that it looks like it’s gonna rip, but the twinkle of want in his eyes gave Chris hope. “I do want you,” Leon’s voice as quiet and shy as a mouse, yet packing damage like an elephant’s stomp. “But how can you be sure when we’ve only talk normally today, not to mention that we’re both tired, in pain and I was drunk.”

“You said it like we were being a completely different person. We’ve been through shit but I’m still me, and I believe that you’re still you.”

Leon paused, and each second he does dreads Chris that Leon might be a different person after all. “Yeah, I’m not _that_ kind of drunk. I’ll still remember all of this tomorrow, though with a different confidence.” He wears a grim grin, sighing in defeat of his own honesty.

“Then, want to give us a shot?” Chris can’t make himself less desperate nor less direct because this is ‘it’. This is _the_ question.

Leon is still searching his face looking down at his nose, lips, and throat, searching for something. He feels those eyes shaking his little soul. When Leon put his face on his chest and sighs, Chris hoped he had found what he was searching for. His hand helped himself to rake Leon’s hair, they’re soft and light, limp to the touch.

“I did owe you one for today,” Leon mumbled against his chest, feel his lips move.

“Did you?” Leon hums as an answer, and Chris feels a little bold. “How are you planning on repaying me?”

Chris feels the loud thump against his chest and Leon is still looking at him from his chest. There’s a smile there, painted unsurely across his face. “How about a date?”

His breath catches, if he’s not pinned down by Leon and feels the soreness of his body blooming across from today’s riot he would’ve jumped in joy. He let his heart does that for him instead.

“Yeah, that’ll be nice.” By God, he actually got choked up, thankfully it didn’t sound that way.

“Really? You would?”

“Of course I do.”

Still, Leon doesn’t look so convinced. “I hope you’re not gonna change your mind when we wake up, and the magic’s gone,” Leon chirped, each word dripped in self-deprecating venom, and Chris is immune of it at this point. Chris is stubborn to a fault, and none of Leon’s doubt is gonna make him change his mind.

“Could’ve said the same about you. You’re the one being drunk, will you change your mind tomorrow?” Chris challenged and Leon actually looks offended. Ha! Now he knows how he feels.

“I won’t,” Leon says solidly, and Chris does feel a bit relieved at that. At least he knows now that both of them are on the same page. He’s gonna sleep easier.

“Let’s talk about it again tomorrow. Now, we both need to sleep.”

Leon hums again, saying “Okay” softly as he lifts his head from Chris’s chest, then wraps his arms to the first cuddle position with his head tucked on the crook of Chris’s neck. Chris puts an arm around Leon’s shoulder, holding him tightly close. Leon moves the hand that slings across Chris’s torso to the top of his chest, and Chris put his on top of it, holding it tight. His face nest on top of Leon’s head, the soft strands of hair feels like a long lost home.

He hopes he can have this to return to for the days to come, hoping that Leon thinks the same. This might not fix everything in his life, but for a short moment, this moment in particular, the world feels alright.


	4. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else is there to talk about? Only a few.

It doesn’t hit at once. Just like how he usually spent his vacations, when he wakes up, he goes back to sleep. But the pain grows quicker than his lull back to sleep. In the end, it becomes too unbearable and he can’t go back to sleep because of it.

First, it’s his head. Pounding like there’s little gremlin inside with hammers and drills, wanting to get out. Pulsing inside his bloodstream and inside his skull, a familiar feeling from years ago that he wished he forgets. But he doesn’t, he never does. It’s been years, and every pulsing and malicious movement inside made him remember the creature planted in him, making him think that it’s still there after all. Of course it doesn’t, he has regular checkups every six months, to make him feel sure of that, but his brain isn’t thinking straight right now with the combination of unbearable pain and grogginess.

The second wave of pain comes from his torso. The soreness and sharp pain in his ribs reminded him that only yesterday he was squished by a BOW like its a child sucking the last drop of capri sun. His back is even worse. It’s like there’s a rock between his spine, he can’t even straighten his back without feeling like he’d snap himself in half. He remembered that he was tossed and hit his back on a pillar. It’s a mystery why that hadn’t split him in half.

With every strength he can muster, he stood up and drags himself to the bathroom. He forgets where his painkiller is, but he must’ve put it on the medicine cabinet above the sink. Before he opens it, he looks at himself in the cabinet’s mirror. It’s the same face he’s been staring for years. Dark circles, deep lines, dull face, awry stubbles. Pale and tired, in the brink of breaking down into broken parts. He’s been looking like that for years now, it felt like he’s trapped in time.

His trembling hands opens the cabinet, hoping that it’s there. It’s not, what’s there instead is a bunch of other yellow prescription bottles. It’s hard to focus on the words, but eventually he did. He reads all of them one by one hoping one of them is a type of painkiller. They’re not, they’re anti-depressants. Leon puts them back into the cabinet and closes it, feeling like he had seen what he shouldn’t.

He looks back to the messy bed, and see a window. Chris’s guest room doesn’t have a window.

Leon doesn’t have time to curse at himself, he needs to find his painkiller. His legs can barely keep himself up, the adrenaline is not here to make him run. Thankfully, the guestroom is right next to Chris’s, and he can get there by leaning on the wall. His legs feel sore and weak, wobbling in every step. The pounding in his head only worsens in every waking second. His vision swaying and blurring don’t help either, he almost trips and falls in every five steps. All of that added makes the short distance feel like the longest trip on rocky mountains with bare feet.

Voila, the bottle is right on the floor along with his scratchy BSAA pants. Bending down is even more painful than walking, so once he’s on the floor, he doesn’t plan to get up. The doctor told him to take double doses when the pain is excruciating and Leon does just that. He can’t even drag himself back up to the sink for water, so he dryly swallows them. It doesn’t come down smoothly, but they come down. Leon lays down to the floor, on his sides, and feels grateful that it’s carpeted.

He didn’t see Chris out there, he wasn’t in his bed either. He wonders if this is a dream, maybe he’s kidnapped, maybe he’s in a mission but he’s having temporary amnesia or hallucinations. But he remembers yesterday. With each second passed the picture becomes clearer. He’s in Chris’s apartment, he takes him here after a weird heart to heart at a bar that he frequents to with a cool bartender named Max.

Then Leon puked when he was in the shower. He was dizzy and nauseous when his mind spiral down the dump. The thoughts that switched on the hose from his stomach was that he could’ve lost Rebecca that day to the same thing he’s been fighting against for years. Before he ensured himself that he didn’t, he’s already on his knees, wasting all that juice and kissing his drunkness away. Chris came in when he’s naked, but all that’s in his eyes were worry and tears pooling in his brown eyes. It made Leon wants to cry too at the time, he almost does. He never thought his wellness ever matter that much to someone.

Their temples were touching. Good food, good beer, and secure arms around his shoulder. He’s never felt that safe before, not even in his enforced house with a complete armory under his bed, and the most expensive security system fit for the president. The cheerful rumble on Chris’s chest against his face as he chuckles easily made him smile. Existing in the same space in comfortable silence or talking about absolutely petty things. The floating feeling he doesn’t want to admit when Chris easily swept his feet up.

There were promises. A date and a breakfast. He wants to call for Chris. Wants to know where he is.

Leon breathes out, though still in pain, it’s not enough to keep him awake. He hopes he wakes up in this same place and that yesterday was not a dream. He was promised breakfast, and he promises a date to the most lovely man he had ever encountered.

.-.-.-.-.

It feels like heaven.

It feels like a lifetime ago when he was still a kid on a weekend. The room is dark, and he’s warmly tucked in bed. The comforter is soft and still smells like detergent, they’re the best when they’re freshly washed. His bed feels comfy and plush, hugging his body perfectly and feels like it wants to stay here forever. The room smells like breakfast and coffee. There are voices in the kitchen, sizzles, a knife cutting something on the cutting board, and a song. There’s a burst of bubbly laughter from his mom because of something his dad said.

It smells so good that he wants to get up and eat already. It sounds like they’re having so much fun, he wants to come out and hear what his dad said that made his mom laugh that hard. He wants to hug his mom good morning and ask his dad about what should they do this weekend. But if he stays in bed a little longer, his mom will come and wake him up. If he stays in bed a little longer, his dad will come and get him. Maybe that way, he’ll see them this time.

The door opens, and he opened his eyes. It’s not his mom nor his dad, and he’s no longer dreaming.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Chris only whispers, but Leon hears it loud and clear.

“No, I was up, and I’m hungry,” Because the room still smells like bacon and coffee. “But more importantly, I’m thirsty.”

Yet his body doesn’t move an inch from his position. His bottle of prescription pain killer is by the nightstand, along with a clock that glares 1:00 PM. He’s too comfortable in his bed to move.

Wordlessly, Chris disappears back behind the door and returned as quickly as Leon started to miss him.

“Can I come in?” Chris asked, and Leon feels a little silly that Chris needs to ask. So he just nods and pats the side of the bed.

Chris has a glass of water in his hand, and Leon lifts his head a little to take big gulps till the water is half empty.

The mattress sunk, and the ghost of his dream stays, his skin expected to be touched and shook gently to wake. Chris is here instead, he was not here before. Where did he go? “I was out buying groceries to make you breakfast. It took me thirty minutes, but you’re up and drag yourself here in that period,” Chris said as if he could read his mind.

“Breakfast? It’s noon,” Leon playfully pointed.

“Well, I did promise.”

“We made a lot of promises last night.”

“Yeah, we can tackle them one by one. Or you’ve changed your mind? There’s still time to tap out.” Chris tried to carry a casual tone, but again, his acting is shit.

Leon thinks of last night. His body wrapped in this man’s arms as they confessed things that they won’t say to each other in any other circumstances. Sure, Leon was buzzed in the mind and his tongue off-leash, but he meant it, even though he didn’t mean to say it that way. He would’ve been cooler about it, smoother and sleek unlike last night's mess, but at least he got his point across? Forty-eight hours ago, they were yelling at each other, only coordinated when Rebecca got sweep right under their noses, and before that, they were yelling at each other some more. Their interaction is always been tense with a city or a ton of lives on the line.

Who knew, that all it took was one tipsy Leon, a bar, and a very worried Chris to figure out that they could have this. And whatever this is, Leon wants it, wants it with Chris.

Leon slips his hand out from the blanket, clenching Chris’s, and those brown eyes glimmer with hope. Lips pressed tensely, face too pretty to gloom.

“You wound me. You think I’ll go back on my words?” Leon teased, but it didn’t go through.

“I’m serious, before it gets too far, I need to know if we’re on the same page.”

Leon can acknowledge that fear, feel it in Chris’s hand. “We are. I’m here for it. We’re taking it slow and see how it goes, right?”

“Good... Yeah, we will,” Chris says in relief, and a smile returns to his face. Oh, if Leon can spend the rest of his life staring at that loving face he would.

The hand in his clench tighter, thumbs rubbing on his knuckles and Chris wetly chuckled, “I’m glad you’re okay. I was a bit panicked when I found you on the floor.”

“Yeah, must not be a pretty sight. You’ve seen a lot of distasteful sight of me yesterday and today. I feel bad for you.”

“Are you sure? I think I can pinpoint some adorable moment of you yesterday, being all cute and soft.”

Leon scoffs at that, so hard that he can feel his ribs sored again. “I can’t believe I lived to hear Chris Redfield tell me I’m cute when I’m fucking 40 years old.”

“You’re gonna hear me say that a lot from now on, and I’ll still say you’re cute no matter how old you are...” Chris leans down and kisses him on the temple, Though bizarre, Leon welcomes it, and let warmth tingle on his cheeks. “...Because you are fucking adorbs,” Chris says stubbornly like a child and Leon just chuckles as he accepts it. “I’m gonna go back making breakfast. I’ve only been frying bacon and eggs, and making coffee. Do you have any requests?”

He looks up, meeting a pair of eyes that looks at him with so much affection that he’s choking up on them. He can’t remember the last time anyone has ever look at him like that before. Something with the way Chris’s lips curved up into a gentle smile while asking him what he wants for breakfast that makes Leon can’t stay still anymore.

He pushes himself up, and Chris’s hands are already in his elbows helping him up.

As soon as he sits up, Leon has his hands on each side of Chris’s jaw, who froze in place. The only light in the room is from the open door, and Leon can see those brown eyes wanting him yet holding back. His fingers trail the scraped skin on his left eyebrows and cheekbones, then down to his lips. The happy curve is gone, Chris’s lips now still and waiting.

His hesitation made him put his temple on Chris’s first as Leon pulls himself together. Chris doesn’t pull away, that alone makes him feel like he’s dreaming. This was what he felt when Chris pressed their temples to ‘check for temperature’. The closeness of their lips, feeling his warm breath over his face, that enormous urge to kiss him then and there. Chris’s hand on the back of his neck was a ruthless tease. Then the second time on his face, the touch gentle and warm that Leon had wanted more. Now, Leon gets to do what he had wanted to do when Chris checked his temperature.

The second Leon leans closer, Chris meets him in the middle. Both inhaled sharply as their lips collide. His heart is in his throat, pulsing in his ears. Warmth crawling down his spine as he feels a pair of hands on his hips, gently rubbing his sides. With playful impatience, Chris’s hands go down to his thighs with his thumbs on his inner thighs, fingers open and roaming, painfully slow and thorough, turning Leon into a puddle in his hands. The skin under Leon’s fingertips shivers when he licks his bottom lips. Chris smells like peppermint and tasted like toothpaste.

Leon leans away just for a moment to say: “Sorry I haven’t brush my tee-” before Chris chases his lips and shut them up. Chris’s hands, wide and gentle, ever so careful as they pull him in. Their kisses started lazy, nibbling each other’s lips, moving in the same hazy sync. There’s a hum under Leon’s touches as one of his hand travel up the back of Chris’s head, raking the short rough hair. The other hand drops from touching his bobbing adam’s apple to his chest, feeling the heart under rebels violently. Just like Leon’s.

When was the last time he’s kissed? Feels like ages ago, a girl he picked up in a bar, taken to a hotel and he left first after. He kissed all his lovers, he was in love with them at the time, but it never felt like this. Never feel this heat just by the touch of the lips, and Leon wants to be set on fire.

Both of them are excited, yet there’s carefulness that stops them from pinning each other down to get into it then and there. There’s hesitation, unsureness, yet at the same time, desperately wanting that makes them stay in the languid kissing. Chris’s lick his lips, and that’s all he needs to do for Leon to let him in. There’s alcohol like burn in the pit of his stomach when Chris roams in, drinking him in like he’s starving. His toes curling when Chris’s hand travels up to his neck, playing with the hair on his nape, another posted on his waist, rubbing along the thigh.

It’s Leon who pulls, and they fall back to bed. The expected weight never came as Chris perched his elbows between Leon's body. The drop also never came, because Chris’s hands cradle him as they descend slowly. Leon doesn’t know whether to feel touched or irked that Chris is being this gentle and caring about his broken ribs and bruises more than himself. But once Chris put his lips back to his, Leon has no complaints.

Thick thigh set between his legs, proding up. Rough calloused hand cradles the back of his neck, playing with his hair while his thumb rubs along his jaw. Chris’s other hand is on his hips, one thumb rubbing the exposed skin above his hip bone, asking for permission. Leon answers by putting his nimble fingers under Chris’s shirt. Once again, the skin under his fingertips shivers but doesn’t retract.

So, he helped himself, starting from the skin on the edge of the rubber bands of his pants, then roam upwards, feeling the sculpture on his abs. Following the hair that leads from the lush part of his chest, down to a more pointed one of the belly button, and the trail disappears under the rubber band of his pants and Leon is itching to get under it. Along the way, he’d find scars. Some thick, some faint, some long, some just a nip, and he doesn’t let his curious hands linger too long on them when there’s more to explore.

Chris doesn’t touch him more than the bare skin along his sides, still careful around his body. With the mundane touching, Chris compensates with heavier kissing. Teeth grazing lips, tongue probing in, sucking his lips sore, licking his insides messy. He can hear his pulse and feel Chris’s in his hands. The leg between Leon’s doesn’t dare to go closer. Man, Leon has to do everything around here. Carefully, slowly, like Chris does to him, he rubs his thigh against Chris’s until his knees rub his crotch, see if the man likes that slow teasing himself. The breath against his lips hitched, then sighed in a shudder, that alone makes Leon’s patience shatter in pieces.

Both of his hands are grabbing Chris firmly by the waist, and grind him down along Leon’s thigh. He can feel the man on top of him wobble because of it and gasp so hard he retracts.

“Too fast?” Leon says against the pretty wet red lips on top of him.

“You’re injured,” Chris reasoned lamely, another shit acting, and Leon can feel how the hands on his sides are itching to roam and feel. Leon is this close to losing it, he wants to feel those rough hands all over his body, right now.

“I’ll watch myself, and I’ll tell you if it hurts, sounds good?” Leon coaxed, “Please...” he adds in a whimpering voice to leave Chris no doubt. Leon knows he’s about to get what he asked when he sees the hesitation is Chris’s face is replaced with a dark hunger.

Chris doesn’t say anything else, just kiss him, and then... Chris sets Leon on fire.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“So much for going slow,” Leon mused as he sat down on the dining chair with reheated coffee in his hands. Bacon, sunny side eggs, hashbrowns, and french toasts are on his plate while Chris is making waffles. The ultimate domestic image, Leon thinks.

“I remember a certain someone pulling me first,” Chris chirps, eyes looking back to Leon with a pointed grin.

“Mhm, and a certain someone asking for round two and three.”

“You say that like you’re just indulging me.”

“I never said that. Thank you for initiating the round two and three, it was awesome.” Leon raises his cup of coffee to drink for the magnificent pleaser.

Brown eyes rolled to the heavens while blushing and Chris goes back to cooking.

It still feels surreal even though Leon is fully sober now. The sky is blue outside, and the sun is shining too brightly for 4 pm. The room smells like coffee, greasy food, and batter. His body doesn’t feel that much pain now. All his body felt is the satisfied bliss, rid of all energy and frustration as they just fuck each other out of it. Legs limp under the table as the result of multiple toe-curling orgasms. He feels like his soul is still floating on the ceiling, haven’t really come back from being fucked the living daylights out of him.

Chris returns with three stacks of waffles and a bottle of maple syrup, walking a bit wonky. He takes Leon’s plate of greasy breakfast and fills it with another serving of eggs, bacons, and hashbrowns. In another hand, he raises the pot of coffee to ask if Leon wants a refill, Leon nods and Chris refills both of their cups with piping hot pitch-black bean juice. Judging eyes stare at him when he pours the maple syrup in his coffee.

“Why?” Chris says in a resigned tired dadtm voice.

“Don’t knock it till you try it man,” Leon digs into the waffle, as Chris scoops one whole egg straight to his mouth and adds a piece of bacon before he even chews the egg. Well, someone’s hungry. Well, not that Leon blames him, he did works Chris out a lot.

Leon’s feet feel cold, or, that’s the excuse he tells himself as his feet rub Chris’s calf. The man, the BSAA golden boy as he branded then, now looks debauched with awry hair, a silly grin matching Leon’s and lots of lots of hickeys on his collarbone courtesy of yours truly. Just a few minutes ago they were going at it like teenagers in the bathroom, and now they’re having this comfortable silence while eating comfort foods like an old married couple and it’s... nice.

Leon sighs pleasantly as he drinks his second refill of coffee, feeling way better than yesterday and this morning combined. Fed, caffeinated, sexually satisfied with a handsome company, it’s the best vacation ever.

Would it be foolish of Leon to have hope in this? That if this works, this can be home. At the thought, both his excitement and anxiety are fighting for dominance. One saying what if it works, the other says what if this one will crash and burn. Leon has been in a few relationships, none worked, but none feels like this either. None feel as right as this. If he puts his effort into this, it can work. He feels that Chris is that right person, and excitement won. A home, can you imagine that? A place to return after missions, something to crawl back to and see the sun again. The sun is now scooping a sunny side egg into his mouth with grease dripping down his lips.

“You’re looking at me like you wanna kiss me,” Chris flash a pretty toothy grin, and Leon happily surrenders if he can see that face smile like that.

“I do.” Leon grabs a nearby tissue and wipes Chris’s lips who leans to the touch.

“I would’ve kissed you right here right now, but I’m hungry, and my mouth is busy doing something else,” Chris says after shoving himself a big piece of waffle.

“Understandable, later then,” Doesn’t stop Leon from watching him though.

Chris is cute like this. Walls down, dismantled from his responsible big boy captain suit and just be Chris the soft bear. But even if he was Chris Redfield the BSAA golden captain, he was attractive, and Leon would’ve thought that way have his life and others were not threaten.

Leon’s mind goes back to last night, and this morning. The uneasy feeling comes back and now is anytime than ever to tell him. Leon just hopes it won't break the serenity of this breakfast at 4 pm.

“Chris?”

“Mhm?”

“I... when I woke up today, I thought I was in the guest room, and I was looking for my prescription bottle and I found yours on the medicine cabinet.” Leon studied Chris’s face that doesn’t seem to falter and keep munching away, so he continues. “I don’t know if it’s something you don’t want anyone to see, or...”

“Oh, the antidepressants? It’s okay, it’s not something I hide.” Leon sighed in relief, and goes back eating, “Are you on one too?”

“You saw me taking my anti-depressant yesterday.”

For a second, Chris bought it and thinking so hard Leon can hear the gears turning. Then the man just rolled his eyes. “Well, alcohol is an anti-a lot of things. So, no?”

“No.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Just never thought of it.”

“Well, if you ever want to, I know a good doctor.”

Leon nods, “Thanks.”

They continue to eat the promised breakfast, and thinking about promises...

“By the way, you wanna have that date tonight?”

Chris paused mid shoving a whole toast inside his mouth. “Yeah! What do you wanna do?”

Okay, he hasn’t thought about it that far yet. He had wanted to see Chris being drunk, but he doesn’t want to impose the bad habit. There’s also no reason to drink, no sorrow to drown. Damn, it’s been ages since he went on a date. The last one was with Helena and it feels like it was a century ago.

“How ‘bout a movie? After that, dinner. I don’t know this area though, so you’ll have to direct me.”

“Cool,” Chris grins from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas. That smile is so contagious that even Leon is feeling giddy for tonight.

With the excitement, Leon can’t help but bleed a little. Every happiness has it’s cost, and he doesn’t know how long this illusion of domesticity will end. He dreads the phone in his pocket, any call coming through there will be the switch off to this mirage. He takes one more look at Chris, who’s as giddy as he is and he inhales the rest of the food Leon can’t eat anymore.

Things will be fine, he tells himself. It’ll be fine until it doesn’t, but until then, everything feels fine.

Then the silence continues. After finishing their breakfast, they moved to the sofa. They’re watching the news, again, it’s about New York. Leon watches closely with Chris’s head on his lap for Leon to thread his fingers on his hair, scraping gently on his scalp.

Most of the time, Leon avoid news and prefer getting his information through Hunnigan. The numbers are more accurate, and there’s no cover-up or censorship, or at least it shouldn’t. The news is reporting the damage done. Even though they’ve worked their ass off, it seems like the antidote doesn’t work on everyone. Some returned to normal, some too far gone. There’s the familiar sinking feeling in his heart that makes him want to shrink away from the world. Leon had predicted that there will be a lot of casualties, but not this much.

His other hand is clenched, and he looks down to see Chris opening his eyes, putting that hand over his heart. Only then he realized that he had stopped stroking Chris’s hair.

“We’ve done the best we could,” Chris says as if he can hear his mind.

“I know, still... could’ve gone better.”

“Chris looks back at the tv, a reporter is interviewing the victims, and that’s when Chris gradually tensed under his touch.

Leon grabs the remote and changed the channel immediately. He feels Chris’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t think of it. He’s putting netflix on and browse for something to watch. Yesterday, Chris put on a comedy type of show, maybe he’ll ask what it is and check it out himself. Right now, he’s in crack mood and put on Bridesmaids.

His hand that was on a steady heartbeat now being moved to a scruffy face. Leon can find his cheekbones even when his eyes are still on the screen, but he succumbs and look down anyway. Chris looks at him in gratitude that Leon doesn’t deserve, but he’s still here, taking what’s given to him. Thumb trailing along his jaw and cheekbones, makes his heart thrums when it just sinks in that this man choose him.

For a moment, everything feels so good. They push away all the grime and horror of yesterday and manage to just feel okay. Leon prays to anyone’s listening that this would last, that no matter what happens, he can return to this moment to let go from wherever he’ll be sent to.

He’ll have to put those thoughts on the back of his mind. Slowly, remember? They’ll see where this goes.

“Leon?”

“Yes, cutie?” Chris has a big grin when he calls him that, Leon’s gonna call him that a lot. Yet, Chris hesitates, and Leon takes a wild jump. “Wanna check on Rebecca?”

His breath hitched, “Yeah...”

“How about taking her out with us tonight? She’d probably need it after holing up in that lab for 24 hours.” Leon doesn’t think twice about it. He was also worried about her had it not for him drowning in his own sorrows.

“Is it okay? How about the date?”

“We can go on a date next time, tomorrow even. Rebecca needs us now. _I_ need to know how Rebecca is doing now.”

Chris smiles from ear to ear as he sits up and kisses him deeply. Hands on his jaws, pulling closer. Leon’s hand on Chris’s back, following the sexy lines from his ass up to his neck. The skin shivers and Leon grin himself satisfied at the reaction.

“One more time before we call her?” Chris says, brown eyes dark and delicious like hot chocolate.

“You read my mind, cutie.”

Chris loops his hand around his thighs and lifts him. Leon giggles at the enthusiasm as he’s being carried to his room. He looks at his feet floating on air, and he doesn’t resist himself the floating feeling anymore. Leon holds onto Chris, and he’s not going to let go for a long time.

Both of them are unsure when they’re standing in front of Rebecca’s university. They’ve finally gotten out of the safe space of Chris’s apartment. They’re out in the open for all the eyes to see. They’re informed that some BSAA soldiers are guarding Rebecca’s lab, they reported that Rebecca hasn’t been out of there since she comes back from the attack. The place is still a crime scene and the cleanup team is still in there doing their job.

Both men look at each other, hesitant, wandering. Leon has cakes and donuts in his hand, Chris has Rebecca’s favorite sugary Starbucks order, and light beers for the two of them.

Even without communicating it with each other, they know they had the same doubt in their minds. That whatever they had only lasted because it was in the moment, and it could only live when they’re alone in Chris’s apartment. They’ve only discovered this yesterday, it’s still raw and new, no one knows what it’ll grow up into.

Yet, Chris knows that he can’t ever go back to the way it was before, treating Leon like a colleague, or pretending to everyone that he is. Then only get to see him in another catastrophe. He has Leon here, right now, it doesn’t feel fair that he needs to restrict himself just because of petty reasons. Leon’s doubts of himself and them had cleared when all he wanted was to hold Chris’s free hand, not caring who’s here to see. He doesn’t get free time like this often, and he doesn’t want to waste a single second pretending that Chris doesn’t mean anything more than friends in front of a bunch of people that have no business about it. Then they know, wherever this will lead, it’s towards something good.

Chris delivers, though sheepishly, he extends his hand to Leon. The younger man couldn’t have felt more relieved and take that hand instantly. Holding tight. Holding strong.

They don’t know how much time they have together, but they’re not gonna waste another without each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of headcanons about them, but I think this is a good end to their beginning. I hope yall enjoy this as much as I do making them, and thank you so much for the comments and kudos~

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Open to critics. Comments and Kudos if you like this~
> 
>   
> [find me on tumblr!](https://emotionalcello-makefanfics.tumblr.com/)


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